A Ghost and the Devil
by Perdyta
Summary: Following the events of Daredevil Season 2, Karen gets wrapped up helping Matt Murdock again and despite her wariness to trust him, she finds herself growing close to him. Then, one night, she's saved from a would be assassin and just like that, Frank Castle and more bad news were back in her life. Spoilers and explicit language, violence and a bit of smut thrown in soon.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My intentions in the beginning were to write smut, nothing more and nothing less. Although the story took off, you can expect there to be some explicit things happening in the future of this story.

Chapter One

Karen gripped her glass of scotch as she stared at the story on her screen. Her stomach was in knots as her eyes scanned the necessary truths laid before her. All of her sources were in order and she had spell checked it more times than she could count... but she had been hesitating submitting it for two days now.

Tearing her eyes from the screen, she looked down at her folder. The one with proof of all her snooping and questionings and, oh man, Matt was going to be so mad at her. But that wasn't what had her stomach in knots. It was the memories of what had happened the last time they had gone against Wilson Fisk.

Now she knew everything... or at least Matt's version of everything. And he expected her to do what with all of it? Karen had to refill her glass as her thoughts went back to that night.

* * *

 _Three months earlier..._

Matt stood in front of her holding the Daredevil mask, looking so earnest and a little bit defeated.

"I-I want to call you crazy, but I..." Karen hated the way her voice quivered as she tried to find someway to express what she was feeling.

"You know I'm telling the truth." Matt said so matter-of-factually and all that came to her were more questions. She still hadn't been able to catch up on any sort of sleep and now he stood their making her furious and confused. "I want to tell you everything Karen."

Her thoughts were racing over all their past encounters, and her secret attraction to Daredevil that Matt apparently knew about the whole time and then of course there was the obvious question of his blindness. She knew her face was turning red and she felt like her heart was about to burst from her chest, but not in the "Matt's about to kiss me in the rain" kind of way. More in the "I'm about to have an anger aneurysm" kind of way.

"I think maybe we should both get some air before I hear that kind of story." Karen said, backing towards the door.

"I can sense you're angry," Matt said, though he backed away from her and gave her space to leave. "But maybe once you have a minute to think this over we could get a drink and, you know, really talk about it sometime. All I ask is that you keep my secret."

Karen paused at the door, relieved he was backing off since all she could give him was a nod before leaving hastily. It wasn't until she was outside that she realized she had been holding her breath because now she was gasping with her hands on her knees and tears threatening to spill.

 _He has an alcohol problem. He's in a fight club._ She recalled Foggy's words bitterly. God, how could she be so stupid? Was it not enough that she had been carrying some light of hope for Frank, but now Matt fights ninjas and gun toting bad men at night.

Karen worked from home the next couple of days. Specifically from her bed where she had drank until she slept a dark and silent sleep with no dreams and no memories. Just nothingness.

After giving herself some time to breathe, Karen dove back into work and tried to forget about Matt. He didn't call her and she liked that. It was easy to pretend she wasn't angry when he wasn't around... but every dull moment sent memories of the past month flooding back. Frank closing the door. Matt holding the mask.

It was memories like this that found her opening a new bottle of scotch at her office that night. She could pretend it was that damn ol' writer's block again, but she knew she just wanted to forget again. Just one more night where she didn't feel like she had failed or been failed or however she was feeling from one drink to the next. Damn them.

Frank told her to hang onto him. That fucking asshole.

Karen hated this. She was so alone but she felt too hurt to be by anyone... but she just wanted to yell at Matt for everything.

It only took another cup of scotch to convince herself that's what she really wanted to do and that was how she ended up at Matt's apartment. She knocked but no one came to the door. It occurred to her, as she swayed slightly on his doorstep, that he might just be out fighting bad guys at the moment. Why wouldn't he be? Karen supposed if she had karate skills she might use those at night instead of her drinking skills. Or whatever, she'd been drinking and her thoughts were kind of funny.

Well, he'd come home eventually and so Karen took a seat in his hallway. Apparently she had brought the bottle of scotch in her purse for the walk.

 _I hope he doesn't have a secret entrance, or I'll be waiting here a long time_. Karen thought, closing her eyes as she took a swig. Well, then she would have time to get her opening statements and rebuttals ready... maybe call a surprise witness.

It seemed like she only closed her eyes for a few minutes when she opened them, but the sun was shining down on her and she was laying on Matt's couch. Karen groaned and held her head. She did not remember Matt bringing her in there. She hoped she hadn't made a fool of herself but she knew it was a slim chance.

She heard footsteps and then there was Matt. Smiling and holding coffee. He was at least probably the most adorable thing she would see all morning.

"You look terrible," she said softly, grimacing at the pounding in her head. "What happened to you?" She realized it was the first time she asked and fully expected the truth from him

Matt tilted his head, "You weren't this concerned last night."

 _Uh-oh._

"Oh, you don't remember how you scolded me last night? At five in the morning?" Matt asked, sounding, of all things, amused. When Karen said nothing Matt of course went on but at least had the decency to hand her a cup of coffee. "Apparently it was so annoying that I had to get hurt last night because I ruined you yelling at me so hard and that you had an opening statement prepared that could have brought me to tears."

Matt sipped his coffee noisily and Karen fought for the words to say.

"I've been... really angry." she said. Matt nodded.

"Of course you are, why wouldn't you be?"

Karen shook her head, "Please stop. Just... stop being so nice and understanding. I came here last night because you haven't told me everything yet and I don't want to be around you in any context until you do. And I..." Karen closed her eyes, furious that they were filling with tears. "I really miss being around my friends."

Matt sat down in the chair by her and after a few moments of silence, he began telling her everything.

Matt did not gloss over any details, including his intention to runaway with Elektra and his heartache over her death. He told her about The Hand and about Wilson Fisk rising to power in prison. He even told her all about the miserable old bastard named Stick and all his double crossings that made her eyes want to cross.

And he followed all this with asking her to come and work with him. Karen scoffed. "Are you serious? _That's_ what I'm supposed to do now?" Her voice was rising and her face felt hot as her anger over the whole thing bubbled back to the surface. She stood and began pacing. "You drop all of this on me and now things should just go back to the way they were? I'll just forget my new job and come and work for you!" Karen couldn't believe this.

"That's not what I meant - I just was hoping - I thought maybe we could be... close again." Matt stood up and put a gentle hand on her arm, causing her to stop her pacing. "You keep me grounded and I like having you near."

Karen narrowed her eyes and snatched her arm away from him, "I fell for your sweet words before, Matt. They won't work on me anymore because I don't believe them. They're just noise. The only time I believe you anymore is when you have something horrible to say."

She turned away from him and shut her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

"Despite how you feel right this moment, Wilson Fisk is trying to put himself back on top and I am going to stop him as Daredevil and Matt Murdock, but I need someone's help. I really do, Karen. I want your help and it's really selfish of me to ask but that's what I want and that's why I've told you everything. You can get to the bottom of things better than anyone I know and that's what I want you to do."

Karen let out a shaky breath.

This was how she began sticking her nose in police files again. It wasn't easy, to get away with and to talk herself into doing, but she wanted this to stop. Once and for all.  
One night, after a long day of avoiding Ellison's questions at the office and then avoiding Matt's intoxicating proximity in the other office, Karen found herself walking into a bar.

It was a sports bar and it was late so only the saddest middle aged men were here, bent over their beers and smoking. It was easy to spot her target, he was the one sitting back and hollering about the game. Loud mouthed asshole. Nice. He turned and looked at her and her skin crawled as he took his time doing so.

"Can I sit with you, sir?" Karen asked, standing with a hand on her hip. He smelled like a prison and it sickened her. "I was wondering if I could talk to you a bit?"

"I aint got that kinda cash, but thanks for the offer doll." He winked at her and waved her away.

Karen raised an eyebrow and stopped the biting remark about to leave. She wasn't sure how that had in any way been an offer but she supposed she would just have to go with Matt's plan B. Bathroom it was. "Well it's been a good night. How about you meet me in the bathroom and we can discuss a deal? There's just the one in this hole so don't get lost."

Then she stood and swayed over to the bathroom, stopping to put some money in the jukebox. It was a good old bar and when the jukebox was too loud they yelled at each other and turned the television up louder. Karen continued on to the bathroom, locking it behind her. The window was already open.

"I don't want to do that kind of stuff anymore. Next time you play the... gentleman of the night and I'll smack them around." Karen told Matt who was standing behind her in all his Daredevil glory. She had to admit, angry at him or not, that suit looked damn fine on him. Especially when he was doing his jump arounds. He tilted his head at her and she blushed and looked away. Things weren't very fair when he could just tell exactly how you're feeling.

There was a knock at the door just in time to grab them out of an awkward moment and Karen opened the door with a smirk when she saw him. Karen had hardly closed the door before Daredevil had him bloody, on the ground, and shushed.

"Robert Sturges, keep calm and tell me what I need to know."

"What?" Robert asked and Daredevil picked him up and slammed him into the wall, pinning him up off the floor. Karen tried to back away but was met with the sink. "What?" He said again, this time in a whisper, "I was just meeting the girl. Two strangers, eyes meeting over a bottle of beer, what's so bad about that?"

Daredevil pulled him close to him and said lowly, "I know Wilson Fisk pays you. Other people will too. I need you to tell me who else he pays and who he contacts."

"Man, don't you tell people, I'll lose my _fucking_ job you asshole!"

Daredevil punched him, "Then tell me what I need to know or you'll never get another paycheck again."

Robert looked defeated and angry. "I don't know man, just other guards and I don't know who else. We were all cut in with the Punisher."

"All of you, what do you mean all of you?" Karen asked.

"I mean everyone who worked in the fucking prison you slut," Robert spat at her and was then repeatedly punched by Daredevil. He moved so quickly and elegantly it was unreal that what was in front of her was also truly violent. And illegal.

"And who else, Robert?" Daredevil asked when he was done with that bit of punishment. "Who are his connections?"

Robert spit out a mouthful of teeth and blood. "I don't know who he talks to on the outside other than his lawyer and Murdock. I know that one of his little _friends_ , Miguel, makes the phone calls. I don't know, they're running drugs or something."

Daredevil shook his head. "There's more."

Robert sighed, cringing with the small movement. "He's looking for muscle for hire. Everything goes through his lawyer, Mr. Donovan."

Daredevil hit Robert one last time, knocking him out and stood over his body for a moment.

"That didn't tell us anything." Matt growled. Karen looked down at the unconscious man.

"Fisk's lawyer. We could start there."

"What, by beating him into telling me things?" He asked, and she shook her head at the attitude.

"We can dig first. Maybe we find a way to get security footage." Karen suggested, feeling kind of dumb and small suddenly as she tried to think of something but there was an unconscious man on the floor and the music was dying down out in the bar.

"We should get home. Meet me tomorrow for lunch?" Matt asked, finally facing her. Karen nodded and a moment later he was gone. Karen took in a deep breath and opened the door, heading straight out of the bar. She turned towards home, but had to wonder what they could do next. She truly was dumb, though, if she didn't think Matt wasn't off doing something deemed too dangerous for her. He had thought of something and would tell her the next day, she was sure.

Well, Karen could always remind the public of everything Wilson Fisk had done, and then some. Only, very passively. She could interview tenants and employees who's lives had been disrupted due to the selfish act of an aspiring kingpin.

Karen began spending many nights talking with Matt Murdock or being nicely included in hands on stuff by Daredevil, and the two were slowly becoming the same person finally. Matt made her angry, but she wanted to give into the calmness he offered her. The smiles he gave her were so welcoming and promising that she wished she could just melt into them and him. But what happens when he decides to push away again?

She had to do her interviews in the daytime, when she was certain _Daredevil_ wouldn't know what she was up to. It was easy to say she was working, because it was her job.

Finally, three months after Matt laid it all out there for her, Karen's big story was ready. And instead of handing it in or going to play vigilante's assistant, she was at work in the middle of the night getting drunk. Karen felt like she was probably going to regret a lot of this by the end but she had to use what she was good at to try and do good.

Karen left the story on her boss's desk and at least felt mighty proud of the quality and honesty of this one.

The walk home was kind of a wobbly one that night and Karen was sure she hadn't really drank that much. As she gripped onto the light pole, Karen realized she may have been wrong. Suddenly, an arm came into view and she looked up to see Matt smiling down at her.

"You have to stop smiling, it isn't really fair." Karen scolded him.

"Ah, I see. You've been drinking. Are you always such a mean drunk?" Matt asked as she clung to his arm.

"Only when I'm celebrating."

"That doesn't make any sense," Matt said with a laugh and Karen had to giggle a little as well because it really didn't. "Well, what are you celebrating?"

Karen shrugged, "I finished a story."

"Don't you have to finish stories all the time for your job?" Matt asked.

"Yeah?"

"Well, you celebrate every single time?" Matt asked, now laughing a little sounded good to hear and Karen leaned against him with a sigh. "I'll just have to read this story I guess, since it's worth celebrating."

Karen's eyes widened before she could help it and she tried to shrug and clear her throat calmly, "I mean it's not really special. Writers just drink a lot because we're... sad and lonely. It's bad. I just wrote it tonight, really. Mostly while I drank."

Matt laughed, "I'm sure. You know I read every one of your stories." Karen found herself smiling up at him, unable to help it. "Even the bad ones."

Karen laughed and gave him a light shove in his arm.

"Hey, you said not to sweet talk you." he explained.

Karen nodded, suddenly feeling shy as Matt held her hand so gently. If he could hear her heartbeat he had to know what he was making her feel. He had to know.

"This is you," Matt said, stopping in front of her building. It was always her who said that. He knew.

Karen stared up at him, not trusting herself to say anything as he slowly lowered her hand. He went to let go but she didn't let him, instead she guided his hand to lay over her heart. He was breathing hard now and she closed her eyes, listening to his breath as his hand went up to her neck and pulled her close. They had kissed before, but that was when she didn't know he could do any wrong. Now, he was someone dangerous. Someone she shouldn't be doing this with.

Matt pulled away, "We shouldn't do this. You've been drinking."

Groaning, Karen pulled out her keys and yelled over her shoulder, "I mean, do you ever get sick of being perfect?"

She heard him say, "Again, you've been drinking," before she went to her apartment and got some sleep. 

* * *

Karen woke up when Ellison called her with praise and sarcasm for breakfast. The story would be published the next day. Good job. Hurry up with your next piece.

She looked at the time and groaned. It was a good thing her boss didn't really care how much time she put in at the office as long as she delivered results. Karen's eyes widened as she remembered their walk last night and their awkward almost kiss.

 _It never had to be awkward,_ Karen thought bitterly. _He could have just met me halfway._

Is that what she wanted? Frank had told her to hold on tight to something so real.

 _Frank_.

It had been months since she had told him he was dead to her, but for a moment he had been the most real thing she had ever known.

His house had burned down and she had been tracking several gang massacre's across Mexico for a few weeks but they had all stopped. Not for long, she knew he would never stop. He couldn't, but there were moments when they had talked when someone else would shine through. Someone The Punisher could never push down. All she really wanted was a chance to meet that man again.

"All I really want..." Karen whispered out loud, but shook her head before finishing that sentence and went to get ready for the day.

She spent the rest of her morning avoiding Ellison and smiling people and the sunshine while under the pretense of working hard on a new story and needing the blinds shut for concentration. It was after lunch time when Ellison came in and she suddenly sat up and tried to pretend to be looking at important documents while wiping drool from her face.

Ellison gave her a wave, "Relax, I can spot the celebratory hangover anywhere." They shared a laugh for a moment, but then Ellison folded his hands and Karen realized this is where the bad news was going to start. "I came here to warn you, Karen. You know I support you absolutely."

Karen sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. So, this was how it started. "My story hasn't even been published yet."

"No, but it's going to be and when it does... I'm afraid you are going to end up on someone's radar." Ellison told her, leaning down over her desk and looking very serious indeed.

 _I'm counting on it._ She bit her lip to keep the thought to herself. He wouldn't be pleased to hear that and she knew where the concern was coming from. It was a place her own concern came from, Ben Ulrich's death... but that was a perfect example why she had to do what she could.

"I need you to trust that I know what I'm doing." Karen told him.

Ellison shook his head.

"That's not good enough. If I find out you get one piece of hate mail, if someone gives you a dirty look at a newsstand after this story... I'll never accept another Wilson Fisk story from you again."

Karen stood up angrily, "You can't! These stories need to be told. People need to know that there is still a threat out there. There is someone out there trying to take back his throne and we won't let happen!"

"'We'?" Ellison repeated and Karen shrugged.

"You and me. This place. We."

Ellison left with out much more scolding after that, leaving Karen free to bury her face in her hands.

Matt called her as she was walking home. She was working on avoiding him today and it was going pretty well so far. Though it made her feel bad, she was determined to die of her embarrassment alone that day. If it was some sort of emergency or news lead, he could leave an urgent message. He'd have to understand after all the phone calls he had ignored in the past.

For the first time in months, Karen went to bed early. Her dreams were dark and full of fire and blood. She tried to scream but nothing came out. Nothing ever came out.

Thunder crashed and Karen screamed. She was awake and staring up at her ceiling, waiting for more thunder. It wasn't raining.

Squinting against the dark, Karen wondered if she was still dreaming and rubbed her eyes. She stopped suddenly, realizing her hands were feeling odd and sticky. Trembling, she reached for her lamp and turned it on.

For a long time it seemed like the only thing she could see was the blood. And then the body. It was a man, gripping a knife and sporting a large hole in his head.

At some point, Karen realized she could move again and she looked at what was left of her window. And on a roof top, seeming like almost a trick of the eye, she saw the white skull before it disappeared out of sight.

"Frank." She whispered.

Footsteps were quickly approaching and Karen was finally able to snap out of it and scramble for her gun just as Matt kicked in her door. She breathed out a sigh that was followed quickly with tears. "Matt?" She said in a shaky voice, fear still gripping her as she gripped her gun. "I don't know what happened. I was sleeping and I-I heard thunder."

Matt was by her side in an instant, smoothing her hair back and kissing her head. He was being sweet again and she needed it.

* * *

Spending the remainder of your night answering police questions while wearing your bloody pajamas was definitely one way to lose any feeling of being well rested. They had finished with her apartment while she was at the police station, but she knew the damage was waiting for her there... if her landlord hadn't hated her before...

Karen stood on the street, not sure where she wanted to go when Sergeant Brett appeared by her side.

"You don't have to go anywhere alone." Brett told her and she knew he was offering protection... but her thoughts drifted to the white skull she had seen in the night and how quickly Matt had been there.

She had been so afraid of being alone, it was true. Now, though, it seemed like she had a ghost and the devil keeping an eye on her.

"Th-thank you, Sergeant, I appreciate it." Karen closed her eyes, wondering if she as being stupid to turn down his help. Probably. "I just want to go to a friend's."

"Let me give you a ride, Miss Page."

She thanked him and rode in silence with him to Matt's apartment. He tried asking her a few, seemingly friendly, questions about her work but she gave him short answers. It was difficult to think about work when all she could see was the man with a hole in his head laying on her floor. Karen wished suddenly that she was going to Foggy's... but she didn't need to drag him into anything if someone wanted her dead.

Brett waited until she was in the building before driving away and Karen braced herself to see Matt. He had been with her most of the night, giving her legal counsel and talking her way out of any accusation they threw at her, but when it seemed like she was out of the weeds with legal problems, he left. There was no doubt in her mind that he had gone to don his costume and search for answers in his own way.

When she got to his hallway, she paused in her steps at the racket going on the other side of Matt's door. It sounded like he had brought work home with him.  
Karen urgently knocked on his door and was debating on if she should try kicking in his door when the noise inside abruptly stopped. When she heard whispers, Karen narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms as Matt opened the door, sporting a bloody lip and breathing heavily.

"Got company?" Karen asked, not really intending to sound so bitchy but it happened and what could she do about it?

"No, they left." Matt opened the door all the way for her and Karen came in and flopped on his couch. "Karen, we need to be honest with each other."

"Yeah, I agree," she said and looked at his closed bedroom door. Who was hiding in there now?

"You need to tell me who that man was. Did you recognize him at all?" Matt asked, kneeling down in front of her and holding her hands looking like the angel she knew he wasn't.

"I came here to sleep, not answer the same damn questions I've been asked since three in the morning." Karen snapped at him. The look on his face made her sigh and cover her eyes with a hand. "I'm sorry, I haven't been sleeping well and it isn't doing much for my personality."

Matt nodded, "It's okay. I understand. I just... I just want to keep you safe Karen." His tone made her lower her hand and she wonder at the man kneeling in front of her.

"Well, I've been hanging out with Daredevil most nights and not wearing a mask either. I may have been spotted by someone," Karen said with a shrug. "And then..." she remembered all the snooping she had been doing recently. That may have gotten back to someone... and it could only get worse after today with her most recent story being published. Matt must have sensed her heart rate picking up or could feel it or something because he seemed to be able to tell she was keeping something from him.

"What's going on, Karen?"

Karen bit her bottom lip, "I... you know I'm a reporter. I report stories that people don't want out there. It's my job Matt."

Matt stood up and paced, "Your story you just completed, tell me more about it. What's this story about, Karen?"

Covering her face, Karen hoped Matt would get over it fairly quickly. She just wanted to sleep. "Wilson Fisk," she whispered. She heard Matt gasp and peeked over her fingers at him just as he slammed his fist on the wall making her jump.

"Well I never used his name, it's about corruption in the city and slumlords and never forgetting what was done to the people in this city," Karen tried explaining. "That can't be why that man attacked me... unless he read it before it was published... I don't know! It's my job!"

Matt shook his head, "You could have chosen a million different things to do a story on, Karen. I'm going to go try and fix this."

"What do you mean? You can't fix this. It's already been done, it's being published as we speak." _Probably._

Matt scoffed, "So what, now you think you can do what you want and I'll just keep an eye on you? I can't protect you when you're always throwing yourself in the line of fire!"

Karen stood up angrily, "I didn't come here for your protection, I came here to sleep because there might not be blood all over your apartment! And I don't need to be lectured by you about putting myself in the line of fire! This isn't my first rodeo, Matt, I don't do this because I'm friends with Daredevil, I do this because I need to. I have access to the truths that people need to know."

Matt was shaking his head and once again driving her crazy with anger. How dare he take the high road and act like she was the reckless one! She stood up to leave but he put a hand on her arm to stop her. "Just stay here Karen, get some sleep."

Karen shook her head, "I'm past sleep, now. I'll talk to you later Matt." She tried to sound cool as she left, not wanting him to come after her anymore. How could he make her feel so angry and protected and annoyed all the time? Why did he have to be so cute while he did it? God it was irritating.

She was in an unfamiliar neighborhood when her cell rang.

"Ellison," Karen said softly and was met with a very concerned and slightly angry boss.

"All that matters is that you're safe, but I feel like I should mention that I always find out from someone else that your life has been in danger."

Karen gritted her teeth but tried to sound sincere and grateful for him checking up on her, but the lectures were starting to get to her.

"Thank you Ellison, yeah I know. I 'm really sorry. Next time you'll be... the third person I call." She thought of Foggy and how much she missed his friendship but she really couldn't talk to him right now. It would just be another lecture.

"Karen, listen. After all this... I've decided to pull your story."

It was like someone had punched her right in the gut, the way those words made her stop and the world seemed to freeze for a moment around her.

"Karen? Look, I'm sorry but I can't -"

"No. No, you can't do that Ellison." Her voice was rising in urgency and volume. "Don't you dare pull my story! I promised I would tell it."

"Karen," he sighed, "Someone attacked you last night and your political and dangerous story isn't even out yet. I'm not losing another one of you reckless reporters. "

Karen shook her head, knowing she would regret these words later but being driven by too much emotion to stop now. "Well, it's too late," her voice cracked. "I quit."

"No Karen, don't do this. I'm going to forget you even said anything. Just take a day or to, take the week to yourself Karen. Talk to me when you get some rest." Ellison sounded so gentle and all she could do was hang up. It wasn't until the wind picked up that she realized she was crying.

Normally, people on the streets of New York will never give you a second glance, but today Karen was wearing bloody pajamas and tears were streaming down her face. She had to get away from everyone and the stares.

Her apartment was a mess and she shuddered at the sight of all the blood. How odd that the scene seemed scarier in the daylight. Walking to her window, she looked at the rooftop she had been sure Frank had been on top of and then she thought of the voices whispering in Matt's apartment.

She could wonder until it drove her mad, so instead she got out the bleach and began scrubbing her floors. The rug had to be thrown away which made Karen a bit peeved as it was the most adorable rug that ever rugged. God, one day she was going to fall asleep and not wake up for a year.

When her apartment seemed to be as good as it was ever going to be, Karen cleaned herself up next. The shower allowed her the time she had needed all day to cry and by the time she was dry and dressed, her eyes were dry too. It was getting late in the day now and Karen's stomach grumbled. Her apartment smelled like bleach and she felt like she could use some fresh air.

She began walking down the stairs when the realization that she had quit her dream job in a fit of emotional distress finally sunk in. Karen stopped in her tracks and leaned against the wall, covering her face. To hell with secrets and stories, what was she going to do about money? Beg Matt to let her work for him, for real? Karen shook her head, she didn't even want to help him with the vigilante work. Tonight.

It would be reckless to go out. Financially. Karen gritted her teeth and looked out the front door. A police car crawled by, looking up at her apartment window. It did nothing to ease her mind. She had just convinced herself to turn around and go upstairs when a shadow swept across her. Karen looked up the stairs, but there was nothing.

 _A neighbor, stop being ridiculous._

Was it really ridiculous, though, thinking it was more than that? Karen crept up the stairs as quietly as her heels allowed, cursing Matt for being unable to stay away and yet really hoping of all things she had caught a glimpse of Daredevil.

Karen's breath caught in her throat when she saw the man standing in front of her door. He turned his gaze on her and Karen felt trapped under those eyes.

"Frank." She whispered, her heart was racing and she realized he couldn't hear that. But she knew her inner turmoil was written on her face. "What are you doing here?"

It wasn't until he walked toward her that she saw the blood. It covered the now crimson skull on his chest and most of his face. Suddenly, she realized things must be very bad if this man was here.

"What did you do, Frank?" Her voice was shaking now as he walked closer to her. "I knew I wouldn't see you unless something bad happened."

"I need one thing from you, ma'am. Just one, and I'll go back to being dead." His voice was low and she couldn't help but notice he was just a little less gone than the last time she had seen him. Had he reached peace or was the calmness of war settling into permanence?

"Come inside," Karen said.

Frank shook his head, "I already got the guy sent there. I need you to come with me to weed out the next one."

Karen wasn't really sure why she was shocked but the honesty seemed to calm her down in an instant. Of course he wanted to use her as bait. And of course she followed him into the shadows with barely more than a nod.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Little bit of violence in this, but hey if you watch the show you should be okay with this!

 **Chapter Two**

He walked in front of her, a dark force of a man no one wanted to be in the way of. The sound of his footsteps seemed to echo down the hallway and Karen's hands began to shake as all her memories of Frank Castle seemed to rise to the surface. Chased in hospitals and emotional conversations in hospitals. The diner...

Now, he shows up and she goes with him. It could have been Matthew she was with now. But she needed answers and she had a feeling the man taking her through the parking garage needed them too.

They take her car, because why would Frank have a car? A legal, never transported a body, type car that is. It wasn't even a question of who was driving or not, this was his mission and he just held a hand out for the keys. They climbed into her creaky little car, still suffering major beauty damage from the last time Frank had been around, but at least she had had enough money to get it running again.

Silence stretched on between them as Karen debated exactly what would be the most mature and yet cutting thing to say to him... or if she should let him know about the small burst of happiness she felt knowing he had come back.

 _It's temporary. You're just a footnote here, get used to it already._

Raindrops splattered on her window and made her snap back to reality. What was she doing? Getting information for a story? For Matt?

 _I_ am _reckless. God. All the time. I'm doing this for me. Because I'm sick and I have some sort of disease._

"You alright over there?" Frank asked, the smallest of smirks tugging at his lips before disappearing. She realized she had been muttering to herself as she chewed her nails and felt herself going red with embarrassment.

"Great." It came out a little louder than she had meant it to and judging by the side-eye he gave her, it was not very convincing. Sighing, Karen leaned her forehead against the window in defeat. "I've just been a little stressed. I just quit my job and now I'm telling The Punisher how stressed out I am instead of asking you what we're doing or where we're going. I'm feeling pretty stupid right now to say the least."

He gave her a short look before turning his attention back to the road. "Yeah, I guess you are _stressed_."

Of course, why would he tell her anything? It didn't matter what she knew, this was his mission.

"Alright, I can't stand this. Lay back."

Now it was Karen's turn to give him an odd look. "Why? You're the one who wanted me here."

It clearly irritated him that she wasn't simply going to go along with his genius ideas. The way he gripped her steering wheel made her feel kind of bad for her car. Again.

"Yeah, and I want you calm too. Now lay back and close your damn eyes." He said and reached over her lap, somehow knowing exactly where the lever for her seat was from the other side of her car when she couldn't find it after owning the damn thing for the better part of a year, and she suddenly found herself being forced to relax.

"Close your eyes, Karen." His voice was gentle now, almost like those glimpses from before. "Close your eyes and think about... I don't know. Think about when summer comes and your days aren't full of grey."

 _Summer._ Karen closed her eyes, promising herself that she was only relaxing for a moment before she really began questioning Frank again.

"Yeah, and summer nights, huh? I always loved walking in the summer night. You can enjoy walking the dog again." Frank made his little noise she called "his suppressed laughter" and she had to smile a little.

"I don't have a dog."

"Everyone should have a dog."

"What kind of dog do you have?"

When his silence began to stretch into plain ignoring her, Karen had to open her eyes. She saw the oak trees they were driving under. Had they really been in the car long enough to be out of the city?

"Where are we going?" Karen asked. "I wasn't prepared for an all day trip."

"That's the problem, no one is ever prepared for what needs to happen." Frank said in a low voice. With a frown, she thought to herself _Weren't we just talking about dogs? He's just always looking for a fight._

The thought of fighting Frank threatened to make her nervous again. Instead, she started feeling a little too vulnerable. After all, she was laid back, strapped in and wearing a less than tactical long coat and purple dress. She clutched her purse, feeling the shape and weight of her .380 and letting that calm her.

The dark change that had settled on Frank disappeared as quickly as it had came. Now, he seemed to sense she was uncomfortable and moved his hand toward her. On second thought, he settled it instead on the radio and tuned into a mood changing station, "Hey, I need you calm. Right? Just lay back and keep thinking those nice thoughts."

Karen tried to fight the sigh, really, but it was hard deciding on any other appropriate reaction. "Why are you trying to distract me?"

Frank just ignored her question, "What? Like you can't think of something nice? I can think of a few things, you oughta be able to think of a million."

It was hard to argue anymore and so she closed her eyes again. She secretly wondered where it was he had been the last few months, but knew she didn't want to ask. There had been a change in him that night three months ago, probably the moment he knew the Colonel was the Blacksmith. Whatever darkness had settled, though, couldn't keep him from helping Matt across the rooftops that night.

"If you can't think of anything, maybe you can appreciate how dumb the man following you is." Frank's calm voice was very misleading and so it took Karen a moment before her eyes snapped open.

"There's someone following us?" She whispered, turning onto her side as well as she could to look out the back window and without really sitting up into any line of fire or anything _reckless._

"Following _you_. If he was worth a damn at his job, he'd realize someone else was driving by now and he wouldn't be following me. Also, why the hell waste the time and follow you all the way out here? Why not plant a car bomb, take away any risk of failure?" As Frank spoke, Karen held onto herself and felt goosebumps raise on her arms and neck.

And then the car that she was intently staring at exploded all over the road behind them in a horrifying display of fire and flying car parts. Karen gripped onto the seat, unable to stop the scream as debris narrowly missed them. She turned to Frank, absolutely speechless.

Of course, he only smirks and throws what she can only assume was a detonator out the window.

"We... We have to call someone!" Karen was finally able to shout at him, fear and anger making it difficult to think straight.

Frank shook his head, "No one else was hurt."

Karen shook her head, her initial shock beginning to turn to anger. "You don't know that!" It was hard to fish through her purse when she was this angry. "If you could just plant a car bomb, why did I have to get dragged into this bullshit!?"

The car was slowing down and Karen wasn't sure she could handle much else. "What's going on now? What's wrong?"

"Just sit tight." Frank said, put the car in park and got out. She watched him go into the trunk and noticed that the flaming car was less than a mile behind them yet. It occurred to her, as Frank was shutting the trunk, that there were no other cars coming or going and she had the sudden feeling that she should sink down as low as possible.

Frank opened the door and handed her a bulletproof vest and a shiny helmet. "Put those on, stay down, and be ready to go."

Then he closed the door and with a shotgun resting on his shoulder, he walked a few paces up the road.

 _It's probably redundant by now to ask how he got a small portion of his armory in my car._

Then, a black car was driving towards them. Slowly, when they should be speeding like hell away from a man holding a shotgun. The car parked and four men came out, holding guns. When three more of those black cars drove up, Karen snapped out of her shock and scrambled to put her vest and helmet on while trying to simultaneously be as low in her car as possible.

Then the sound of gunshots and shouting made her freeze. A part of her wanted to peek up from where she was, just to make sure Frank was okay but she couldn't move from the floor of her car. She covered her mouth as she heard shouting and gunfire and tried to muffled her scream at the explosion that followed. Then there was silence.

Footsteps were approaching the car and Karen held her .380 in front of her. Her relief at seeing Frank was short lived when he opened the back door and threw a very bloody body onto her backseat. No, he was breathing. So they had a bloody hostage in her car. Was that better?

Without a word, Frank got into the vehicle and began driving again. Never mind the carnage they left behind or the fresh blood added to his look.

She was still crouched down on the floor, too upset to be uncomfortable.

"Why am I here, Frank?" Karen asked, fighting back tears. He had a look on his face that scared her more than anything else. It was easy to see now that every glimpse he had offered today, like he used to, was just a play. Just a way into manipulating her to be quiet and play her part.

"I was done waiting for them to come at you one by one, I needed him to come out. Those other guys might have been amateurs but they work for someone with resources. I just need to ask this guy a few questions about those resources." Frank told her, eyes never leaving the road. Karen sighed and sat back in her seat before taking off her helmet.

"What are you going to have me do now? Wait in the car until you're done killing this guy?" Her voice shook as she forced herself not to look back at the man unconscious and bleeding in her car.

"Things have been hard enough for you today. I'll drop you off at Red's before I... before I... oh shit." Frank's voice was slurring and Karen was just about to be confused when there was a sharp pain in her neck and her world started going foggy. Through the fog, she saw Frank pull out his gun before slumping onto the wheel.

"Frank!" She heard herself shouting as the car went off the road. Then her world was black.

* * *

Karen's tongue felt like sand paper and her neck was killing her. With a groan, she slowly lifted her head and tried to swallow. It was dark and she was sitting in a chair with her hands behind her back but anything else was hard to comprehend.

 _What happened? ...I was in the car._

Her head felt so heavy as she tried to recall the day. _Frank._

Now she began to struggle and the chair squeaked loudly against the floor. It was loose at least. Fear broke through the haziness and she strained to look around the dark room. There was someone sitting a few feet behind her, and she realized it was Frank but he was still knocked out. Now she was really alarmed. What the hell did she get into?

Karen tried to slow down her breathing and force herself to calm down. If Frank was unconscious or slowly dying over there, then it was up to her.

 _Maybe Matt's heard through the vigilante vine that something was going down and he'll show up any minute._

It was a nice thought, but she couldn't count on it if she wanted to survive.

Just then a door opened and light poured in, so bright that Karen turned her face away as it made her head pound.

"I was hoping you would wake up first." A voice said as the door slammed shut and darkness filled the room. There was a strange shuffling noise and she realized whoever this man was was limping. Perhaps there was no one else here.

A yellow light was clicked on and Karen squinted up at the man holding her and Frank captive. He had blonde hair and a strong jaw and though he had the presence of a soldier, his eyes said crazy. He set her purse down on a bench next to him and raised his other hand until he pointed a gun at her. Her gun.

"Actually I was planning it. The dose I gave him was just ridiculous. But I don't want to give him the chance to beg as I hurt you, he's going to wake up and see how very serious I am when he sees you."

It was inches from her face when she raised her chin and said, "That's my gun."

And then he used her gun to slap her across the face. She groaned and fought back a sob that threatened to escape at the pain spreading across her entire face. This was not going to end well for her.

Karen let out a shaky breath and gripped her fingers together behind her.

The man bent down in front of her, "I'd start swallowing that pride pretty fast, because no matter what happens, the two of you are dying tonight. The only thing any of your goddam sass is going to buy is a few more hours on this earth with me."

All she could do was stare back at him and try not to look at her gun in his hand, fearful of any promised beatings but yearning for a way to put her hands on it. He'd underestimate her. They always do.

He turned his back to her now and went to the bench, examining something that gleamed under the lamp.

"Your name is Karen Page and the order was for your death. It's been harder than I would have thought, I didn't know you had protection. So, now I need to know..." The man said and turned around. He held a curved blade as he walked closer to her again and said, "Who else protects you?"

He slide the tip of the blade across her left cheek and under her eye, ever so gently that she seemed to hear it whisper. How could she try to deny anything with that in her face? Especially anything that was in records.

"I uh... have been saved a couple times by the Devil of Hell's Kitchen." She swallowed. What could he want to know? That she was too nosy for her own good?

The knife was against her throat and then shoulder as the man nodded. "Really? More than once? Do you think he follows you too?"

Karen was confused by the line of questioning. "I don't know, I guess I've heard that he was a player."

Suddenly the man swung the blade down into her upper left arm and Karen screamed from the pain. He covered her mouth with one strong hand squeezing her mouth shut until she thought she was going to suffocate. Frank was stirring now and the blonde haired man looked like he was about to go full crazy if his bulging eyes were any indication.

"You better just shut up and answer me, I don't want him awake yet." He whispered to her before taking the blade out of her arm and pushing her into the back of her chair. The force from his push sent her chair backwards onto the floor.

Kare cried out as she landed on her arms that were still tied behind her at the wrist. The chair splintered underneath her and tore through her dress and at her skin.

Frank was trying to lift his head from where he sat and groaned something she thought sounded a lot like her name.

"Goddamit!" The blonde man said and Karen tried to scoot away from him. He limped to her and grabbed a handful of her hair and dragged her into a corner of the room, unnecessarily throwing her onto the hard floor.

"I'm tired of you. You stay there until I'm ready for you. Next time you irritate me I'm silencing you with a bullet."

He walked to the bench and Karen gripped the piece of splintered wood behind her that she had managed to hold onto. Frank was trying to lift his head still and it appeared like the man with the blonde hair was getting another dosage ready of whatever he had used to knock them out. She wondered how he had been able to get Frank the first time as she rubbed the wood against the plastic holding her wrists together. Holding her breath, she ignored the pain as the plastic dug into her wrist and concentrated on her strength and the hope that the piece of wood was sharp enough.

The plastic snapped against the wood and her wrists were free just as the man began to walk towards Frank who was trying to focus on his surroundings

"Wait, wait you want information on Daredevil, right?" Karen begged, allowing at last the tears to stream down her face. The man tilted his head at her and smirked, setting down a syringe and picking up her gun instead.

"I warned you about doing exactly this." He said, coming at her.

Karen breathed out a calming breath and gripped the piece of wood behind her. It wasn't much of a plan but it was all she had. The man stood above her and smirked down at her while waving her gun in her face.

Frank was wide awake now and called at them, "Hey it's me you got business with. Leave the lady alone and talk to me, huh?"

His attention was turned to Frank and his grip on the gun slacked. It was enough. Karen jumped to her feet and drove the piece of wood into the blonde man's throat, but not before he shot the gun sloppily in her direction. She cried out as they fell and the wood drove deeper into him while her arm felt like it was on fire. It seemed like the man choked on his blood for an eternity before he finally became still.

In a daze, she stood up and slowly looked down at her arm. It was her shoulder that had been shot and she was pretty sure the world was starting to spin around her. She walked backwards until she hit a cold concrete wall and clung to it to stay standing.

 _Why do I always end up back here?_ She thought, looking over the bloody body. But this was different. It was another one she was responsible for. It was another man she killed. Breathing growing difficult.

"Karen?" She heard the last voice she wanted to hear then and looked up to see Matt. No, he was Daredevil now. Her heart sunk and she covered her mouth as she felt like she was gonna be sick.

* * *

Karen was sitting on Matt's couch, Claire putting the final dressings on her wound and Frank and Matt bickering in another room as if no one could hear them. They had retreated to a private discussion after Karen proved slightly unresponsive to their questioning and Claire yelled at them a little bit.

Evidently they knew all about Matt being Daredevil and yadda yadda so Karen was last to know out of everyone. She was swallowing it. Sort of.

"Yeah, I tried doing it your way, Red. Didn't work out the greatest but evidently we were going to get out of the mess without you."

"Nothing about that was 'my way.' You left carnage and bodies all over the highway and because of you Karen was shot."

"Wasn't because of me. I took that man alive to interrogate and she took an unnecessary risk. If I had known what she was planning I would have advised _against_ it!"

"Either way, she shouldn't have been there."

"Like she hasn't been seen with you, sticking her nose around corrupt prison guards and you let them carry on after seeing her face. That's a half-measure at it's worst."

Their voices grew low and difficult to hear and Karen was afraid they were about to take the discussion onto the roof.

"Jeeze, maybe we should duck out of here while they're distracted." Claire said as she finished wrapping her shoulder. Karen grimaced as she pulled her dress back up her shoulder. She thought about what would happen next and had to admit that wasn't a bad idea.

Matt walked into the living room, his face looking grim. Frank was nowhere to be seen and she wondered if he had left from the roof or something. Rude. Where was her car, anyway?

Oh, right, Matt. He exchanged quiet words with Claire and then handed her money and she was on her way.

She was alone with Matt, now, and the air was awkward.

"I just want you to know that you can stay here tonight." His words were kind but his tone was biting and it shocked her. She looked down at her torn and bloody dress.

"Maybe I should go home, I really need some clothes and a shower."

Matt sighed and she felt her face grow hot.

"What, Matt?"

He walked over to his alcohol and poured himself a shot of whiskey. "I could ask you the same thing."

Karen blinked.

"Why did you go with him? What is it about Frank Castle that makes you abandon all reason? You are so blind when it comes to him, did you ever think he was too far gone now to give a damn about anything but the mission?"

His words sounded bitter and she stood up, wanting to head towards the door as she wasn't really looking for a fight after the day she had just had.

"Karen, wait. I'm sorry." Matt's voice was soft and he put his empty glass on the counter. She was at the door with her hand on the knob as he walked to her, standing so close that she had her back against the door. He put a gentle hand on her arm. "I just feel like I should have figured out what had happened sooner and I could have stopped you fr om having to... do that. I wish you could have trusted me to tell me where you were going... I've let you in, why can't you do that same?"

Karen turned the knob, not caring if it was stupid if she left. Hey, they had killed a lot of people today so it was likely no one would be in the area for a few more hours to assassinate her. Sounded like plenty of time to shower and take a nap.

"I guess it was just too late, Matt." Karen said and opened his door, forcing him to step back and out of her space. "I'll be okay for the night, just let me get home so I can rest."

As she walked away from him, she tried to fight the rotten feeling in her stomach that came from receiving his puppy dog look but she really couldn't deal with his emotions tonight on top of her own. All she wanted was the emptiness of vodka during that time between showering and sleeping and that's what she was thinking about when Frank joined her at her side. Karen jumped back and away from him but managed to suppress the startled shout that had threatened to come out.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, suddenly having a feeling of deja vu as she was throwing useless questions at Frank.

He shrugged.

Karen sighed and stopped walking. "Answer me, dammit. I haven't slept in forever and I'm not in the mood to be a footnote in another one of your missions."

Frank stepped closer to her and said in a voice much quieter than hers, "This isn't part of a mission, Karen. I just know that someone like you is gonna have a... hard time after what happened today."

Scoffing, Karen continued on her walk with a little more quickness though who was she kidding, like he couldn't keep up? "You think you're so perceptive, don't you? Yet until today you didn't even know what 'someone like me' was capable of!" She was forced to try to unlock her apartment building door while angry which was really annoying and made her angrier. Frank reached out and covered her hands his own and calmly unlocked the door. Great. "Thank you." she mumbled, hating that he had to be likeable right now.

He followed her all the way to her door and she wanted to keep yelling at him but really didn't want to do that sort of thing in her hallway. Frank was bending close to her to unlock her door and she saw that he had his own wounds that had never been cared for.

"Why didn't you have Claire take care of those?"

Frank shrugged and opened her door. "Want me to take a look around?"

Karen looked into her apartment and back up at Frank. The man she either wanted to kill or take care of. "Only if you let me have a look at your wounds." Karen said, sort of hating herself for making sure once again that she was going to be around Frank Castle for a significant amount of time. When he seemed like he was going to say no she sighed and said, "We could have a drink. Maybe we deserve one or five, right?"

Frank smirked, drew his gun and walked into her apartment.

As she closed her door, she said, "As I was saying about your so called perceptiveness, ass..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Frank was done with the walk through of her apartment after a few moments, her place was minuscule after all, and he seemed to be ignoring her earlier comment.

All she wanted to do was drink the day away, but she was filthy. Her dark dress hid any blood splatter, but her pale skin visible through tears reminded her of those crazy eyes she watched grow empty of life. Karen looked up and saw that Frank had been watching her, seeming to be on the edge of imparting some wisdom on her.

"There's scotch in the freezer." She blurted out and then went to her dresser and pulled out pajamas. "I'm cleaning up as best I can. You'll just have to excuse me. I'll bust out my first aid kit and take a look at you over a glass of scotch."

Frank was unbuttoning his shirt and the mesmerizing movements of his fingers threatened to make her stall. "I'll be right here."

His words gave her goosebumps which was a nice change from the crawling that hadn't left her skin since pulling herself up from on top of that body. Karen spared one last look over her shoulder as he was undoing the straps on his vest before ducking her head shyly and retreating to her bathroom.

With a frustrated groan she managed to peel off her dress. Claire had been able to give her antibiotics and a thorough clean and patch up but she had recommended an actual doctor and a sling. Of course, a doctor would ask questions and fuck those questions.

The stab wound on her same arm was stitched up as well but throbbed like a son of a bitch. All Karen knew right now was that the lack of pain meds was killing her.

As she waited for the water to get near scalding, Karen stretched her hand out into the stream of water and watched as grime and blood rinsed away from her pale skin. At last it was warm enough and she gingerly continued on with the process of feeling clean. It was a good amount of scrubbing before she realized it would take more than one shower before she ever got to feeling clean again.

When she had dried and dressed herself, she came out of the bathroom into her bedroom/kitchen/rest of her apartment still trying to shake off the negative feelings.

Then she saw Frank's bare back as he stood at her sink and it was enough to stop all of her sad thoughts for a moment. He turned and it was a moment before she realized she should be making eye contact, not staring at his chest.

"You found my first aid kit." Karen said, frankly unable to tear her gaze away from the fresh wounds on his chest. Then she noticed the two glasses of scotch on the counter and smiled. Trying not to let his presence deter her, Karen stood at the counter and knocked back the glass of scotch then quickly refilled it. This one she shall sip. Maybe.

"I don't think you should spend your time worrying about me." Frank said and reached for his undershirt that he had draped over his coat and bulletproof vest on one of her kitchen chairs. She sipped on her scotch and watched him cover back up, though at least leaving his arms on display. They were good arms.

He turned to her and she reddened when they made eye contact so she looked away quickly. It would be impossible to guess what Frank was thinking especially when she couldn't sort out her own thoughts. Drinking was an easy thing to do, though, so drink she did.

Well, she couldn't be doing this alone so she picked up Frank's glass of scotch and held it out to him, daring to look up at him again as she said, "It's rude to say no. Probably."

His fingers brushed hers as he took the glass but then he had a seat at her table, easily becoming comfortable in her crowded, tacked-on kitchen and breaking any sense of closeness she thought might have been there. "Why didn't you stay at Murdock's?" Ah, so now the questions begin.

"I needed to get clean," she said shortly.

"Could've cleaned up there." Frank said, giving her that look that said he knew how she felt. If he knew, why did he have to ask? "Could've let Murdock walk you home, too."

"I don't... I didn't." Karen looked into her glass, hoping it would help her find the right words to say what she needed to. "I wasn't ready for Matt to know the real me today." The glass was beckoning her now as the words stumbled out.

"The real you? And who is that?" Frank asked, the sincerity of his voice making her raise her eyes again. When she couldn't stand that, she turned her back to him and had to hold onto the counter as she finished her drink despite the way her world was spinning. Apparently she couldn't handle a few strong drinks on an empty stomach.

Karen reached for the bottle. A hand covered hers, keeping the bottle where it sat and she looked up to see Frank standing at her shoulder. The proximity was a heady thing but she had to wonder what sort of perfect insight he was going to give her now. Her thoughts were of a car crash and a field at night, a night no one really knew about. Today it had become clear to her that it was only a matter of time.

She thought of how she had waited earlier today in the rain as Frank and Matt hid any evidence of the day she had. The worst part of it all had been the silence they sat in until they had been able to contact Claire. She felt untouchable and fragile as the silence became suffocating.

"What is it you're afraid he saw? A monster... or a survivor?" His tone was so soft, it'd be easy to forget it all and just talk to him. Like they did once before, but things were different. By her doing or his, she wasn't sure. She definitely didn't care to dwell on those kinds of dilemmas. Her dilemma right now should be whether to drink in bed or on the couch.

"I don't want questions," she said and gripped the bottle tighter under his grasp. She just knew this gentleness was another facade. Something put up to get to know something from her or for her to do something. "I definitely don't want _your_ opinion on whether or not I'm a monster." She hid her fear and anger under a false laugh and shook his hand off before pouring herself another glass.

"Sure, yeah all you ever want are questions and answers until someone gets close your secrets," Frank's voice was hard now yet he took the smallest step closer to her and she wondered if his world was as fuzzy as hers. "And you'll keep taking risks, won't you? Somehow always ending up in danger."

"I don't do that," Karen said softly, growing angry that he'd brought a reaction out from her.

"I think you do exactly that, because you get a thrill out of it. Don't you? You love the way it makes you shake, Karen. The way it makes you burn. You get your joy, though, from knowing someone in the shadows always comes to your rescue." He was so close to her now and though the smell of him made her heart beat faster and the sound of his voice was made her eyes flutter close for a moment, she didn't like what he was saying to her. She didn't like the way his words made her shake and the way a pleasant feeling crept in her stomach, threatening to prove him right.

"Shut up," she said, slamming her glass on the counter and getting ready to kick Frank out of her apartment. If the floor would just stop tilting.

"Or what?" His breath tickled her ear and she closed her eyes, allowing herself to lean back into his chest. Had he been so close the whole time? The thought made breathing seem a little harder and with each breath it seemed that she felt more of his chest against her. He laid a hand on her right arm at her side and though he was gentle, she could feel the power he had behind that touch. "You gonna hurt me?"

Karen turned to yell at him and push him away, but instead she was holding a fistful of his shirt and kissing him. Maybe he kissed her first, but her mind was fuzzy and full of Frank. How much he infuriated her and how much he made her knees quiver as his tongue darted against her own.

His hands were around her waist and she clung to him. It occurred to her, as he lifted her onto her one counter, she had wanted this for a long time. But she was afraid of this. Her thighs rested against his hips, rubbing against the fabric of his jeans as she ran her fingers through his short black hair. He smelled familiar to her and his fingers felt as rough and gentle as she had imagined they would. Those fingers smoothed up her arm to her collarbone and neck, eliciting a moan from Karen.

Frank broke away for a breath and Karen didn't hesitate to pull the collar of his shirt down and plant small kisses along his neck.

"Karen," he breathed out, his gruff voice bringing a sense of clarity to her. He had one hand on her neck and the other on her waist, fingers finding the soft skin there under her pajama shirt. So it was a difficult thing, but she tried to pay attention as he spoke, "It won't make you feel better. Not really."

Karen leaned back and looked up at him, breathing heavily and trying to think. Which was just the problem, when Frank talked it was frustrating but when he touched her it was peaceful the way it filled her mind with the single thought of _him_.

It was momentary, but that's what she wanted for tonight. It's what she needed after the day she had.

"I know," she said, afraid to be so vulnerable to him now but she knew it was fleeting. She couldn't take the way those blue eyes looked down at her and so she tilted her head up to nip at his earlobe and whisper, "Just shut up and let me have tonight."

His lips were back on hers and his hands pulled her to him. As Frank carried her from the counter to her bed, Karen's thighs quivered with excitement. He laid her down and his hands smoothed down across her stomach, pushing her shirt up just enough to caress her skin.

Frank's touch sent her skin on fire and as he planted hot open mouthed kisses on her neck she knew that this is what she wanted. Maybe she could carry on blaming him for whatever later, but today he made her feel alive and she craved that more than anything. Karen pulled at his shirt and he happily obliged, leaning back and ridding himself of the offensive clothing.

Trying to sit up smoothly with one good arm, Karen rubbed a hand over his chest. He had a tattoo over his heart with his family's names, something he had gotten before...

Those were troubling thoughts and Karen didn't want those so she kissed Frank's chest. When her lips brushed against a nipple, a gasp came from Frank and all she could do was smirk as she flicked her tongue against it and felt his hands shiver the tiniest bit.

Frank's hands were impatient as he pulled her pajama top off and then he had his fingers hooked on the waistband of her pajama bottoms. A moment of uncertainty seemed to pass over Frank and so Karen laid back on her covers and helped strip herself of the shorts. Then he simply stood there, looking down at her with a look on his face she'd seen once or twice but forbid herself to place it then. She reached a hand to him and the look changed to hunger as he took her hand and came back to her.

He kissed his way down her neck and chest. The sight of him planting his sweet kisses on her breasts made her head feel weak and she had to lay back and close her eyes for a moment. His lips traveled further down until he was planting his hot kisses on her inner thighs and she couldn't hold in her whimpers.

Frank's boldness left her no time to feel less than confident with this and when his perfect mouth finally settled on her clit she could only gasp. His tongue stroked her with purpose and she had to grip a handful of his hair just to feel as much of him as she could.

As he licked her, she was sure he was going to make her come undone. The feel of his hands on her and his hair that tickled her thighs, it was all too much. She realized she was whispering her name and bit her lip

A feeling in her stomach was making Karen's toes curl and just when she was close, Frank trailed his kisses back up her stomach and replaced his tongue with gentle fingers. It felt like he was just teasing her as his teeth played at a nipple. She moaned and pulled at his jeans, her anticipation soon giving way to frustration as she said random syllables meant to be curse words.

Slowly, he unbuttoned his pants and smirked as her eager hands hurried the process along and pushed them down over his waist. When he rolled onto his back to get them off all the way, Karen seized the moment to assert herself and keep him in her mercy under her. He had a taste to him that she realized was her and she moaned into his mouth, letting him pull her on top her. The way he pulled her to him, met every kiss and touch with fierceness... it made her weak and exhilarated all at once.

His hands gripped her waist and though she had wanted to dominance of being on top, she felt powerless as he lifted her by the hips and rubbed the tip of his cock on her already teased clit.

"Oh, please Frank," she let the whimper out. A groan came from him and he rolled her back under him. Her long legs easily stretched over his shoulders as he finally entered her. The look on his face was wonderful and she thrust her hips up to meet his, loving the noises he was making and the way his arms were trembling.

His lips were on her neck. Her hands on his shoulders. Karen realized her moans were bordering on loud and hardly noticed the bed frame pounding against the wall. All she cared to notice was the feeling of Frank and the way that glorious feeling of falling apart beneath him was crashing back.

His movements were growing rapid and she hoped it was because she was making him feel the same way. Frank looked in her eyes and reached down to gently caress her cheek. Karen turned her head and captured his thumb between her teeth. Keeping his gaze through half lidded eyes, she flicked her tongue over the tip before taking the whole thing between her soft lips. He groaned and reached his other hand down between them, rubbing his free thumb against her clit.

It was enough and Karen's head fell back as she quivered around him and a wonderful, shaky feeling of great release crashed through her. She held onto Frank as he finished soon after and listened to the sweet noises he made deep in his throat, wanting to always remember the sound of them.

Her eyes were heavy as Frank laid beside her, resting his forehead against hers. So she smiled at him and closed her eyes, hoping she could feel this peaceful forever...

Karen woke up, having to pee and needing a drink of water worse than anything. When she climbed back into her bed, she saw a glass of water and two aspirin on her nightstand and she realized none of that had been a sexy dream. His drink was even untouched on her table.

She looked at her poorly patched windows and sighed at the sun peeking through. It was too early for her to have to deal with things like emotions or the thought of Frank Castle leaving in the night and so Karen laid down and tried very hard not to freak out about life.

 _Of course he left,_ she reasoned _, he has a night job. Probably why he didn't drink._

 _...And it was all momentary._

Her head hurt and she felt like a fool. Of course, Frank couldn't hide behind the excuse of alcohol like she was going to but that wasn't her problem.

Her problem was that she spent the rest of the morning under her covers, feeling sick and cold and stupid.

As it seemed that Frank Castle was going to avoid her over the next few days, Karen Page avoided Matt Murdock. His phone calls and emails. Of course, she listened to his voice mail and read his emails and she felt like a terrible person the whole time. She knew that Foggy was busy with his new job and Matt was lonely, but she was a wreck over the thought of talking to him.

Matt left a message one day saying that he had gotten to the bottom of her followers with a help of a friend and that he was taking care of things. Still, he would appreciate a phone call from her.

The next phone call was from Ellison and she answered it right away, hopeful that he could forgive and forget. She tried to lie and say she just needed some time to get over some stuff but Ellison seemed to just know certain things. Everyone always seemed to know things she didn't and she really couldn't idle on that and let that infuriate her right now.

As Ellison accused her of playing with fire and getting herself in dangerous situations again, Karen thought of Frank's lips on her chest. She closed her eyes and sighed, a relaxed feeling washing over her as her boss said things she hated to hear.

She responded with many a "Yes sir" and "No sir" and a "Can I work from home for a few days?"

When she was off the phone with Ellison, she breathed a sigh of relief that she at least still had a job, she would just have to keep a cap on her emtional outbursts.

She spent the next few weeks healing and diving into her work, finally letting herself be a reporter without the distractions of Matt or Frank. Her shoulder healed without much of a problem but left a rather nasty scar she wasn't too happy about. That really put a damper on summer dress season.

When she woke up in the mornings, she thought less and less of Frank as she lied in bed. She told herself she had to be okay without him. If he was really still in the city helping Daredevil, he was apparently staying away from her. Which was what she needed... if she was going to live a normal life. And normal was achievable, right? Normal was... wanted.

But Karen missed the fire.

The weather was getting warmer and Karen started jogging at night after the day got too suffocating. It helped her to put her loneliness out of her mind. She listened to music loudly, blasting away thoughts of Frank and that night.

It was a warm summer night when Karen ended up outside Matt's gym, already covered in a thin layer of sweat. He had told her about the gym he went to at night when when she had to question how he managed to keep up on his training to be a bad ass. It had been on her mind recently and she had passed it a few nights the last week already, but now she stood with her hands on her hips. She closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing in through her nose and steadily out her lips.

Her unpublished story had been something else on her mind recently and though she was doing just fine without it, she hated the thought of those people's stories being untold. She hated the thought that people felt the need to protect her, to keep her from doing things for her own good. It crossed her mind that she could be dangerous as well.

Karen walked up to the door and peered inside through the foggy glass, knowing it was locked so no one could bother him. It was hard to see, but she could tell it was Matt in there. The way he moved as he struck the punching bag was unmistakable. When she tapped on the glass, she wondered if he already knew she was there.

When his movements stopped, she stepped away from the glass so she didn't seem like a creeper. She heard his footsteps coming closer and realized she was probably going to be super stinky to him. When the door didn't open right away, Karen spoke up, "It's Karen."

The door opened and she noticed he had his glasses off as she walked in. All the easier to see the many bruises on his face. He's been busy and it made her feel terrible again, knowing that she had pulled away while he was out on the streets risking his life. She wondered if Frank was helping him but she didn't come here to think about that. It was obviously just something fleeting that wasn't going to be worth dwelling on anymore.

"You've been busy?" Karen asked, hating how small her voice sounded in the large gym.

"I tried calling you. I didn't know you'd prefer to talk here." Matt said, his voice betraying the hurt he felt from her absence. Karen tried not to stammer or fidget or do anything stupid but talking to Matt was proving much harder than she had imagined.

"I thought I should heal before hanging out with your type again," Karen said, figuring it was a truth. Not the whole truth, but she felt like it wrapped everything up nicely.

Matt gave her a half smile that seemed to melt her nerves away, "'My type,' huh?"

Karen put her hand on the cool leather of the punching bag he had been trying to destroy, or train with, and she wondered how he could still smile at her like that.

"Yeah," she said. "Everyone keeps telling me how much trouble I'm always in. Which is why I came here to you. I want you to train me to defend myself."

Matt didn't even break his stride as he was walking to the boxing ring. The look on his face was unreadable and he jumped to sit on the edge. After a moment, he finally said, "Training you - and by the way I don't know how to do anything like that, or if my schedule would allow it - but training you wouldn't keep you out of harm. It'll just give you an excuse, Karen, I'm not stupid."

Karen's cheeks felt hot as she put her hands on her hips, "So what, I should just hang out with you but go on being helpless and in the way?"

Matt shook his head, "That's never been the case."

When it became clear he wasn't going to help her, Karen turned with a huff and headed towards the door. She didn't get very far when a hand grasped her arm and stopped her. She turned to see Matt standing there with a very troubled look on his face.

"What if I said yes? You'd have to hang out with me nearly every other night if not more and I have a hard time believing you could commit to that," His words seemed to be taunting but she couldn't help but feel hopeful. Karen was searching for the right thing to say when he nodded his head towards the equipment. "Just come with me, already, before you disappear again."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Bigger author's note at the end of the chapter, since I love to ramble, but I wanted to add in the beginning here that my song of choice while writing Frank/Karen has definitely been From Eden by Hozier. It's just begging for someone to make a fan video to it, so someone talented with that stuff go do that! I just can't tell whether it's being sung from Karen's or Frank's POV, but that's why I love that pairing.

 **Chapter Four**

It had been several weeks since Karen first proposed Matt train her and they had settled into a comfortable routine. Some days they worked on endurance and others, strength. Her left arm was terribly weak and underused due to the healing it had to go through, but she clenched her jaw and worked through it.

The mornings were still the worst. The soreness that settled over night bid her to stay in bed, but when she lay with her thoughts they always turned to Frank and where he might be. She knew he had been helping Matt with something, but she couldn't work up the nerve to ask Matt. Anyway, she could wonder about Frank until it drover her mad but life had to go on, didn't it?

So she got up, rubbed salve into her shoulder and arm and set her mind toward the rest of her day. Ellison let her take risks, but not the ones she wanted. Though she submitted stories he raved about, her mind was always with the files and information she wanted to bring to light on Wilson Fisk and his men in prison. Matt wanted her to leave it to him, let him work with law and muscle on his side. But she knew she could do it, she had to.

First she would make sure she could protect herself, without relying on any men in the shadows.

Then, one night, Matt invited her into the ring with him.

She was not prepared for how frustrating her lack of progress was. The gentleness he exhibited while he blocked and pinned her only made her frustration grow. There came a night when Matt had her pinned and she saw a smirk on his lips. Her lack of strength, his ease and smirk, it was making her heart race with jealous anger.

"You get so worked up in the ring, I swear it sounds like your heart is gonna pound out of your chest," Matt whispered and she was suddenly very aware of her heavy breathing and her pounding heart. He appeared thoughtful and she felt his felt his grip lax just the slightest. Taking the chance, she broke his grip and pushed him off her so that she could pin him.

When he tapped out and Karen laid their rubbing her arm, she asked between breaths, "Why'd you let me do that?"

Matt was already up and offering her a hand, "Don't sell yourself short." And then when she was standing as well, he had to shrug and add, "Anyway, I was thinking maybe the loser had to buy drinks afterwards."

Karen crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him, "That hardly sounds fair. If we made that a thing, I'd always end up paying."

"You beat me this time," Matt offered with a smile she used to think was sweet and kind, but now she knew the devil behind that smile. She knew how calculated his words and actions really were. He wasn't the naive lawyer she thought he was and she felt like she could never be certain around him again.

"This sounds like a hustle to me... besides, I don't drink anymore." _Outside of my apartment._ Karen thought to herself. Still, he had a troubled look on his face and so she concentrated on calming down her breathing. She took a few steps back from him, wondering if he was ever going to take this seriously.

New York was not the place it used to be, not for a very long time now. What was once so magical and mysterious was now scary and unknown. Karen knew she needed the strength to be able to be on her own in this city. And Matt couldn't stop suggesting hang out spots afterwards.

 _And what was so wrong with that?_ She found herself wondering as Matt once again smirked at her.

"You once told me you weren't a saint, you never got a chance to elaborate on that. Or much of anything. Let me get you... a coffee?" Matt's voice was so kind and she just couldn't stand that he was being so earnest. Why would he want to spend more time with her? If he knew the real her, he'd want to just be her lawyer again and that wasn't the plan.

"Coffee?" Karen asked, looking at the time. "I guess this time of night might call for a night cap at Josie's." What could she say? She wasn't a _strict_ non-drinker or anything. She just wasn't so sure how good of an idea it was to have a drink with Matt when she was already a little light-headed and winded.

"I'll try not to tease you about how easy that was," Matt said and then offered her an arm.

As they walked down the street, it'd be easy to pretend that the last few months never happened, like she was guiding him into the bar after a long day of avoiding bills at the office... instead she was certain that he was the one guiding her after a day of secret work and secret training.

When Karen returned to their table with drinks, Matt had that damn smirk back on his face. "The coffee at Josie's smells a lot like vodka tonight."

Karen narrowed her eyes, she had wanted to be the one to start the conversation and avoid Matt's charm.

"Matt, I don't think you're taking me seriously," she said, not giving his teasing a response.

 _Aw, of course, now he has to have the puppy dog look._

"I'm confused about why you would feel that way. After I trusted you with... so much?" Matt said and his words made her cheeks grow hot with anger. Just because he shared something with her that everyone else already knew about certainly didn't mean he took her seriously!

Karen closed her eyes and drank her vodka. A little too fast. She told herself she was going to stop doing this. No wonder no one took her seriously. She tried to take a few calming breaths and suddenly a hand was on hers.

"You've been on edge for months, Karen." He said softly, "And I feel like I know why."

Karen cleared her throat and said, "Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else." She had wanted to scold him for not training her hard enough, not get into a talk about her recent murder. _Self-defense... manslaughter. Oh God._

Matt gripped her hand gently and she tried to ignore the goosebumps that raised on her arms. He was right there, begging her to let him get close to her. Why couldn't she let him? "Matt," she whispered and closed her eyes. _Don't force me to tell you I'm not sorry. Or about the other times I wasn't sorry._

No, he couldn't know that. "I-I just don't want you to think badly of me." She said, unable to keep her voice steady.

"Well, let me urge you to take a chance," his thumb was running along the backs of her fingers and it troubled and amazed her how such little movements could make her heart start racing again.

"Let me go pay for those drinks." she slipped away from him and used it as an excuse to down another drink at the bar. When she came back, Matt was already standing and waiting for her.

"You haven't been to my new place," Karen said as they exited and wondered which direction she should turn. Would he want to just walk her home or take her to a more comfortable environment for him to question her relentlessly? Karen sighed and wished they could go back to a time before all they had were questions. When it felt like she could always be as comfortable with him as when they were under rainbow colored lights, tipsy and giggling.

"No, you mentioned moving," he said idly and let her lead them towards her block.

She dared to look at him out of the corner of her eye, wondering if she could change his mind from more serious matters. Brushing the back of his fingers with hers, her face felt like it was on fire from her nervous attempt to hold his hand.

Her contact with him seemed to cause him to stop and pull her towards a hidden corner along the closed deli they were passing. Matt still held her hand as he faced her and the abrupt closeness was making her feel dizzy. Maybe that was the post work out drinks.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, or feel like you have to tell me things you don't want to." Matt told her, his lips growing captivating as they formed each word so carefully. So thoughtfully. He was such a calculating devilish bastard. "I just want you to know I'm here for you to come to... more than just for training."

Karen took advantage of his blindness and let her eyes roam over his face. Maybe he knew or could tell the way he was making her feel. Maybe this was what he wanted all along. She let the wall hold her up as she pulled him towards her.

"I've tried coming to you. Hell, I've thrown myself at you on occasion," Karen whispered, tilting her face towards his. People passed them on the sidewalk but she felt so secluded and far away with him.

Then Matt leaned down and captured her lips with his in a kiss so sweet, so like the one he'd once given her on a night a little bit like this one. He tasted like beer and she was shivering, despite the heat of the night.

He seemed content to graze his knuckles against her cheek and give her the sweetest of kisses she might have ever had where as she wanted to pull his body against hers and nip his bottom lip into her mouth. With a groan, he ran his hands into her hair, resting a hand against her neck and letting another travel down to her back.

Karen responded to his touches with her own, easily sliding his sleeveless work out tee to the side so she could feel the skin on his chest. He smirked against her lips and she pulled away, kissing along his jawline and enjoying the way his quickened breathing tickled her neck and ear.

"Thrown yourself at me? I've been so clueless, huh?" His tone was bratty and she gripped his shirt, wanting him to just stop the damn games and give her the comfort she needed.

Before she could be bold, he kissed her again and she felt his hands rub down her back until they both gripped her ass and pulled her hips against him. Easily, she could feel his erection against her belly and she couldn't believe what was happening. It was all happening so fast, the way everything good or bad always did. She just couldn't decide what this was... or what she wanted it to be. Matt always made her feel fragile, even as he pulled her against him he kissed her like she might break.

Regrettably, she broke the kiss but she had to make him understand her and so she gripped his hair, forcing him to listen to her as she whispered, "You'll understand my intentions soon enough." The shiver she felt go through him was satisfying and now she smirked.

Then a monotone voice was breaking through the fog that seemed to settle around her, saying, "Foggy. Foggy. Foggy."

Matt pulled away and Karen looked at him through heavy lidded eyes as he set back on her feet with an apology. She sighed and rested her head against the wall, but still totally eavesdropped because she was shameless. Plus, she had to admit she missed Foggy and hadn't seen him since he got taken away by his new law office. It had been a curiosity for a while what he was up to. She was sure he would be let down at all the alcohol he'd been missing out on with her.

"Hey Fog- wait, just slow down. You found what?"

 _Wait,_ I _should be jealous._ Karen thought with a smile. _I'm sure he's got a top shelf bar right in his office. His office that's probably bigger than my new apartment. That bastard._

"Okay. You're right," Matt was saying, walking further down the alley from her. She opened her eyes and let her curiosity get the best of her as she followed him. Matt looked over his shoulder at her as he was saying, "I'll be there." Then he hung up.

Karen tried to hide her disappointment, "Well, drinking on Foggy's tab could be fun too... a different kind of fun but still." She could tell by the slump in Matt's shoulders that she wasn't going to like what she was going to hear.

"You need to get home and rest, Karen," Matt told her and though his tone sounded final, he had to know she wouldn't just leave it at that and go home.

"Rest is overrated," She smiled, her tone light as she went to his side. However, her smile disappeared when she saw the expression on his face. Apparently they were past the carefree moment they had just had. Of course. Those moments always passed too quickly into these ones.

"Karen, I have to go. You should get indoors." He began walking away from her and she knew he had important work to do, but right now she just felt left out and childish and then angry at being so childish... and angry at him. And tipsy! But she couldn't think of what to say. She hated his ever changing moods and wished she could just know what was going on. God, things made more sense when he was an alcoholic. Sort of.

Feeling suddenly very cold and alone as Matt disappeared around a corner, Karen wrapped her arms around herself and tried to fight her negative thoughts. This was something that was going to occur from time to time if she was going to keep kissing vigilantes. It just seemed very unfair that he could beg her to get close and then he gets a phone call calling him into the night and she is told to just get indoors.

As she began walking home, the thought crossed her mind that he was trying to protect her. Of course, that didn't necessarily make her feel better. It just made the curiosity worse. Then it made the paranoia kick in... what if it had something to do with _her?_ Could Foggy know about the soldier in the warehouse?

When she got home, the troubling thoughts were still coming and she was feeling pulled to dig, but how could she spy on Matt without him knowing? He knew when she needed to rest her arm during their work outs, there was no way he wouldn't be able to figure out she was stumbling after him.

Karen showered, knowing that always made her feel marginally better. Feeling cleaner and a little more clear headed only made it easier for her path to seem clearer to her. Perhaps it was Foggy she should dig up on. Whatever it was that he knew, Karen knew she could pester him until it ate him up inside...

That thought made her pause. Wasn't Foggy her friend? Karen looked at her herself in the mirror on her dresser and wondered at the woman she saw there. When had she stopped struggling against the darkness? With a frown, Karen opened her pajama drawer and was met with another troubling sight. A red pack of cigarettes lay amidst her clothes and she let out a shaky breath.

When she was dressed, Karen sat on the fire escape in the warm night and lit a cigarette. As the familiar smell surrounded her, she closed her eyes against the tears as a lump formed in her throat. After all these years, nothing brought back the memories of her brother quite like the rare cigarette. She used to flush Kevin's cigarettes down the toilet after he would stink up her car while hiding from mom and dad just to smoke the damn things. Oh, he would _scream_...

Karen had to laugh softly to herself as she watched the smoke she exhaled float into the night. She used to smoke when she was already sad and probably drunk, but now her tipsiness had worn off and she only felt focused. She was committing to the change in her and if Kevin was there he would understand the darkness she had descended into. Even if there was no one left who could.

* * *

Karen woke up with a groan and wondered what the hell her body was doing waking up before the damn alarm. A breeze brushed against her cheeks and Karen realized the window to the fire escape was still open. With a frown, she got up to slide it shut and stiffened her shoulders as she remembered very clearly closing it before going to bed.

Turning, she saw Frank standing in the darkness of her kitchen and her breath caught in her throat. There was a time he would have knocked, but now he appears in the darkest hours with a look on his face that told her of the kind of night he had.

Karen tried to swallow her nervousness, nothing good ever came when Frank had that look in his eyes, and she raised her chin to him. "Why'd you find me?" She asked. It was never a question of _how_. It was just a waste of time to question whether or not he could find her if he wanted to.

Frank closed the gap between them and when he placed his hands on her arms, his expression softened the tiniest bit. Though his presence was intimidating, she felt the desperation in his hands on her and it was making her confidence waver. As she tried to think clearly, she smelled the smoke and sweat on him and it seemed to confirm to her that he was really standing there. The realization made her knees shake.

"I need to be close to you tonight," he said without any hesitation. He said it so boldly that she could think of no reason to step away. Karen placed her hands on his chest, still covered in his uniform. She didn't question him tonight. She couldn't.

Never letting her gaze drop from his, Karen began undoing the clasps on his vest. Frank let a sigh escape and pulled her up to him, capturing her lips in a kiss so full of need and hunger it was a wonder she could make her fingers work to get his vest off the rest of the way.

Eagerly, she pulled at his shirt. Her touches and grasps matched his desperation with her own. Through heated kisses she was dimly aware of losing her pajamas as he pulled her up against his body. When his hands and lips were traveling her body like that, well... there was no room for feeling shy here.

Suddenly, the wall was at her back and Karen had to force away memories from earlier in the night. _A different wall. A different man. I am a terrible person._

Those thoughts were fleeting as Frank urged her to move her legs apart and reached a hand down to rub his thumb against her clit.

He made her feel so powerless as she moved her hips against his hand. When he touched her like that, she felt herself needing it and knowing that she might do anything to always feel like this. A whimper escaped her when he slid a finger into her and she felt him smile against her neck.

"Frank," Karen whispered, grasping his shoulders. She wanted to tell him what he was doing to her, but all she could say was his name.

In response, he removed his hand and set her down. Blinking through the haze, Karen looked up at him and tried not to get angry at the cock teasing going on. Then Frank raised a hand and pointed to the bed and simply said, "Go."

His other hand was still on her belly as she bit her lip and wondered which way he wanted her. Then she thought about how she wanted it and she eagerly went to her bed. Slowly, she bent forward and crawled across her mattress so that she could wait for him on her hands and knees.

After a very long moment, Frank's hands were on her hips, guiding her ass further into the air and she dared to look over her shoulder at him. Through heavy lidded eyes, Frank looked down at Karen as she pushed against him and he suddenly gripped her waist harder and entered her. The way she gripped the bed sheets as the world grew smaller and smaller, the way she couldn't stop the moans or her toes from curling... it all just confirmed this was exactly what she wanted.

The noises he was emitting from her made Karen feel like an animal and she couldn't stop. Frank had a handful of her hair and was kissing her neck, he was rubbing her clit, he was making everything that was bad melt away and she wanted to thank him with kisses for giving her this blissful clarity.

Karen was amazed when her body began shuddering. He made it so easy to give in. She couldn't believe she was already coming and she let the mattress muffle her cries of pleasure. Frank pulled on her hair so that she lifted her head up and was crying out clearly. Karen heard him swear under his breath as his fingers dug into her sides and she knew he was close.

His rapid movements kept her rocking between pleasure and over-stimulation and just when she thought she couldn't bear anymore, Frank was letting out his own delightful little groans. Karen looked over her shoulder at him, holding back a grin as she rocked her hips against his and felt the way he began to shudder and cry out.

The world seemed to become clearer as his movements slowed and he simply held onto her for a moment.

"Mind if I shower here?" He asked after a moment, his voice sounding the same as ever and reminding her what she was really doing and with who.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." Karen said between breaths.

Karen laid with her face in her sheets for a moment and tried to slow down her breathing. She heard Frank go into her bathroom and start the shower and wondered what he would do when he came out. More than likely, he was going to get dressed and leave.

Which was fine. It would be morning soon and reality would be waiting bright and early for her.

With a groan, Karen convinced her very relaxed body to get up. Forcing herself not to look at the time, she grabbed a towel from her linen closet and went into the steamy bathroom.

The sight of him through the shower door was something she wanted to always remember. Water and soap were running down Frank's back and down his wonderfully shaped ass and thighs. The muscles under his skin were captivating to watch as he moved. He turned to look at her and she turned red as he caught her staring at him.

When he turned his back to her, she realized he really did just want to take off after his shower. Karen tried to shrug it off as she squeezed into the shower with him, but the way he avoided eye contact with her despite being six inches from each other was really starting to bug her.

"I guess this kind of thing is easier when I'm stupid drunk, huh?" Karen asked, suddenly resolved to make this shower as quick as possible. Of course that didn't go as planned when she angrily squirted her body wash into a loofah and ended up squeezing out half the bottle. _Aw, shit. It's everywhere. Why can't I ever come off as serious when I'm angry?_

Frank had a hand on the wall, apparently a little more winded from their excursion than he had originally let on, and he had an odd look on his face. Karen was feeling worse the more he didn't respond and she closed her eyes against the negative thoughts that were threatening to return. She knew the good moment had passed and any moment now was going to turn bad, but why did she have to speedup those bad ones?

A hand was smoothing her hair back and when she opened her eyes, Frank was standing there. She realized the look on his face was shame and it really didn't fit him.

"I've been trying to work up the nerve to apologize to you," he said and Karen found herself becoming mesmerized by the way the light shone in his eyes. _Wait, what? Concentrate you damn, exhausted fool!_ "But I knew I would just keep bringing you further down. Hell, Karen, you killed a man because of me." His fingers trailed down to the scar on her shoulder and then further to the one on her arm. "These are because of me."

Karen looked down at her scars and his hand. It made her worry her lower lip between her teeth. Closing her eyes, she could see the blonde man she had killed. She could remember perfectly the way his eyes looked when he knew he was going to die. The way he gave up against the blood filling his lungs and the life left his eyes, the same way Westley's had. The same way...

"I'm a survivor," Karen said with a shrug to mask the shudder that ran through her.

"More than anyone really knows, I think." Frank said. It made her smile and though she would have loved to keep questioning him, she was exhausted and the water was growing cold.

"We don't have to talk. Just stay with me a while longer, Frank." Karen said softly. At last he nodded and she let out a small sigh. It was inevitable that one day he would figure her out, but all she needed was to be close to him tonight.

 **A/N:** Sorry about the gap between updates, I was really priding myself on staying on target for those three chapters and then totally bailed on this one. Just kidding, it's just that life had to come and remind me that I can't just do whatever _I_ want to do. Dammit. Anyway, all I'm saying right here is that I don't have a beta, except my husband who's just like "Fuck yeah, sex stuff." But he does say nice things about it which is good because those are the only kinds of things I pay attention to... which brings me to thanking you all for your lovely reviews and everyone who favorited or followed this. I mean, wow, thank you! It's been a while since I have been in the world of fanfiction and it's been a long long time since I've written out sex scenes. So I am just amazed that people like this shit lol but seriously thank you thank you thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

Karen blinked against the morning that threatened to carry on. Stretching, she reached across the right side of her bed and was disappointed to find it empty. Last night, the calming and protective force of Frank had seemed to encompass her as she fell asleep, tangled around him and the sheets, and now she woke without the terror of her usual nightmares chasing her into morning.

Karen sighed and rubbed her hands over her face, trying not to dwell on things. She had just about convinced herself that she could probably move on with her day pretending last night had never happened, when she realized the smell of coffee had filled her apartment.

Sitting up with a groan, Karen squinted at her bedside clock and continued groaning. _Why!?_

As she pulled herself out of bed, she remembered then that she had passed out in the nude. Karen dug around her dresser, barely opening her eyes more than a squint as she searched for some sort of clothing. Her muscles seemed to groan as much as she did against the morning.

After throwing on her nightgown, Karen sighed in relief to relax her sore muscles. She wondered which part of her day yesterday was to blame for the extra stiffness she was waking up with. Her time with Matt, or with Frank? Karen felt her cheeks redden.

When she rounded the corner to her kitchen and saw Frank sitting at her table, she resolved to think about her life choices later. He had been looking at the paper but his attention was on her now. Feeling weird under his gaze, she ducked her head and rubbed her eyes.

"How are you awake? We just went to sleep," Karen said around a yawn, aware that she was exaggerating a little.

Frank looked away from her and she saw all the lines give away on his face, smoothness taking over any feelings that dared to show themselves.

"I'll be missed soon." He says, the sudden lack of emotion on his face told Karen how angry he really was. And how out of the question it was to talk anymore about it.

He was already standing up, grabbing his vest from where it was draped over his chair. She hardly had anytime to fathom the sudden change in him.

"Frank," Karen began. He was carefully putting his vest in his bag, seeming to take his time about it. She realized the blood was missing and had to wonder if Frank ever let himself feel the calmness last night that she had, or if their fleeting moment had been enough and then he was all business again after she passed out.

Had he even stopped being on the mission long enough to be with her, like he had said he needed so much?

Karen felt sour as he continued with his things, but she had no idea what to say to him.

 _What is there to say? You knew who he was from the beginning._

 _But then he has to know who I am by now. Karen Page, Truth Whisperer._

"Why did you wait to go until I got up? You could have left without inciting my curiosity."

Frank turned to her and she noticed the corners of his mouth twitch, no matter how he tried to stifle his emotions. The non expression stayed on his face as he stepped close to her. She tried not to close her eyes as the scent of him came back to her and she felt the comfort that was just in her reach. He was dangerous, and he made her want to tremble when he stood near her. Within reach but untouchable.

"I wanted to give this back to you," Then he reached out and took her hand. He pulled her to him so there was no space between them. She looked up at him and found the proximity of him making it harder and harder to squint suspiciously at him. His other hand came up to gently touch the strand of hair near her neck that he seemed to favor. The gentle touch seemed forced, as if he was holding back and Karen bit her lower lip in anticipation of his intentions.

Karen finally let her eyes flutter shut as Frank's lips brushed lightly against her own. So softly. He kept himself reserved as if she was the one who remained untouchable. Raising on her toes, Karen pulled him

Just when she was letting her mind become cloudy with Frank, she felt him put something in her hand. Her eyes snapped open just as he was stepping away.

"I'll get in touch," Frank said, a look of regret passing over his face. Or perhaps she was just projecting. The sudden lack of him made her feel cold and his words seemed to leave the room even colder as he walked out with so much left unspoken.

 _Don't follow. Don't look for trouble._

It was easy to imagine that's what he meant to say.

 _Sorry to be an ass. I'll explain everything when I pick you up tonight for our date night._

That one seemed a little harder to imagine.

She looked down at her hands as the door closed and realized she had Ben Ulrich's car key clutched in them. Clarity was coming back to her as well as anger at the suspicion that Frank had just given her a distraction away from from.

He knew she'd try questioning him and so he had this ready to distract her with. But... then he had to have known she would simply hunt him down torment him with questions later.

She paused in her pacing at that thought. Indeed, he had to know she was going to find out one way or another what everyone seemed keen on keeping her in the dark about, especially the more she was pushed off the subject. Going through the trouble of fixing Ben Ulrich's car just to have ready on the off chance he would need to distract her did seem a bit far fetched the more she thought about it.

In fact, having her car fixed meant it would be that much easier to sneak off on her own missions.

So perhaps she was being paranoid. Still, Karen knew that her paranoia was perfectly reasonable even if she was just focusing on the wrong things.

She looked at the keys in her hand and wondered how in the hell Frank managed to pull all of this off as a dead man. Sure, no one would be looking for him but he had to know his face could raise suspicion if he got too comfortable out there... So did he keep pulling it off?

Karen walked to her window and looked down at the sidewalk in front of her building out of curiosity. Of course there was no sign of him down there, but she couldn't shake off the feeling of suspicion that had settled over her.

Until she yawned and realized she never had that coffee. Maybe it was just time to move on and get ready for work then.

Ben's car was parked in what had been her usual spot months ago but sporting a new ugly shade of yellow and missing any rust spots. Other than that, it was as if it had never been crashed into the side of a warehouse in the middle of nowhere.

She had given up hope on it the second they had seen it, but obviously Frank had gone back for it and even went the extra step to make it easily mistaken for a different car than the one they had used when taking out the latest batch of mysterious bad guys.

As Karen tried to move on with her day and just get to work, her thoughts kept straying to that day and what Frank had done. She supposed maybe the car was another apology.

 _I'll be missed soon._

Did that mean someone would come looking for him? Was he being morbid?

Karen's thoughts went to Matt and how he had been summoned away for mysterious reasons earlier in the night. He too had been called away from her by something more important. And then the guilty feelings started coming.

"You've got a story," Ellison's voice brought Karen back to reality and she realized she had been staring at her computer screen in her office for a terribly long time.

Karen blinked several times before giving a short laugh, "No. Just another blank screen."

Ellison had his arms crossed and was leaning against her door frame, sporting his usual attitude of being all-knowing.

"That's not what I'm seeing on your face," Ellison said. "I also don't see that bottle of scotch on your desk."

Karen scoffed, "It's barely ten thirty."

Ellison shrugged, "We can pretend that's shocking, I guess. I like a change of pace the same as anyone else."

With a shake of her head, Karen sat back in her chair and shrugged back at him. There was no way she had a story here. Why would she expose Frank like that?

"I don't know what I have right now," was the only safe response she had for him.

Ellison frowned at her, clearly not appreciating this new element of secrecy to her. When she continued not giving him any information, he threw his hands up, "I just wanted something juicy. Damn, Page."

Then he walked away, leaving Karen with her thoughts and the blank screen again.

So she sat back, closed her eyes, and let all the puzzles come to the front.

The hit on her. Matt wanting her to be close only to push her away from the fire again. Frank bringing her close only to keep her in the dark. Yet, Matt was giving her the tools to defend herself and Frank had fixed up her unofficial get away car. They had to expect her to be in the mix of things.

Of course, the easy answer was that she hung out with melodramatic, emotionally unattached men but that merely answered the surface questions. It didn't cover the feeling deep inside that something was just absolutely wrong. It also didn't explain the hit on her.

Karen stood up and began pacing in her office, feeling a surge of agitation the more she puzzled over things. The obvious thing to do would be to call Matt and bombard him with questions. Maybe she would get somewhere with him.

She paused in her pacing to cover her face with her hands. Of course she couldn't call Matt. He blew her off so she went back to Frank, she couldn't be going back and forth like this like some callous whore.

Karen ran her hands from her face up through her hair and then held her neck, trying to soothe out a solution. There was one person she could think of to talk to right now. The easiest solution, at least, would be to talk to Foggy Nelson.

There was a little jump in her step as she continued pacing and dialed up Foggy.

She sighed happily when she heard his voice say, "Hello? Karen?"

"Foggy, H-hey yeah it's me, Karen, ah... it's been a while, huh?" Karen said, covering her face with her free hand as she couldn't help letting out a nervous laugh. Every time she forgot about what a terrible person she was, another reminder came along. This time, it was the terrible neglect of a dear friendship. A friend who had done so much for her and she couldn't find the time to talk to him in months. Until she needed something.

"I know, I couldn't believe my caller ID," Foggy said, his words sounding like his usual self but his tone stayed flat. It made Karen's heart sink.

"Maybe we could get some lunch if this is a bad time," Karen blurted out and felt like she could die from how awkward she was being. She really should have thought about what she was going to say before calling, but she had not honestly expected Foggy to be so... not-Foggy. How stupid she felt that she had thought they could just slide into comfortable conversation.

"You just caught me between clients so it's really the only time I have today, I have a lunch with my partners today to discuss some current affairs," he said and she could hear the the bustle of voices in a hallway and Foggy calling for something and sounding important. "Sorry about that Karen, but I can give your number to my receptionist and she'll call you if you need to set something up. Thank you so much for calling though, I liked hearing from you." And then he hung up. As if that was in anyway an acceptable goodbye.

"Bullshit," Karen said to the dial tone.

Half an hour later found Karen outside the office building of Hogarth, Chao, Benowitz and Nelson. _What a mouthful._ She was glad some good had come his way, he was a great lawyer. She just hoped his name on the wall meant he was still taking the cases that were important to him.

And now it was time to think about business. She had time to think of her game plan on the drive over so this time she was prepared. As long as his receptionist was a pushover, she was sure she had a handle on things.

Until there was a hand on her elbow and a familiar voice in her ear, "What are you doing here, Karen?"

The voice made her stop in her tracks and the feeling of being caught made her feel frozen in place for a torturous moment as her mind raced over what the hell Matt was doing there.

Of course, it was his own business he was there but she had been led to believe they hadn't even talked much at all since the firm ended. Until last night that is. And now he showed up in the middle of her carefully planned interrogation. Didn't he know how busy Foggy was today?

Karen turned her head to him and just knew what that tilt of his head meant. She could feel him trying to figure out her intentions. Swallowing, she tried to find her courage.

"I'm visiting Foggy, same as you I'm sure. Why don't we head up together?" She tried to sound cheerful, as if she had no suspicions about anything and was definitely not being suspicious herself. So what if she just popped in for a surprise visit? Under the pretense of their friendship, there should be nothing wrong with what she was suggesting.

Well, if Matt had been invited then that would make it all the easier to get in to see Foggy and if not, then she could have Matt charm the receptionist which would probably work better than the intimidating thing she was going to try.

She watched his face for some sort of sign of what he was thinking and realized she felt stuck to where she was until he gave a sign that she had fooled him. Instead, he raised an eyebrow down at her and adjusted their arms so that hers linked with his.

"Foggy hadn't mentioned you'd be here," Matt said as he guided her to the elevator. Before Karen could reach out for the up button, Matt was feeling the wall with what she now knew were uncharacteristically clumsy fingers before finding the button and pressing with confidence. How was she supposed to ever guess what he was thinking when he was always keeping up appearances?

They entered the elevator together, keeping up cautious appearances. Karen watched the door close and wondered if Matt would keep holding her arm once they were alone. Then she would know he was suspicious of her.

The doors closed. His arm dropped so that instead he was holding her hand and her stomach flipped when he smiled down at her.

"I caught you on your way to interrogate Foggy about last night, didn't I?" Matt said, his voice low but she could tell he was teasing her. Karen really, really tried not to stutter.

"I-I.. uh..." She had been so worried he would be angry at her for butting in. Or that he would sense what was happening between her and Frank. She never expected his smile.

She hadn't been prepared to handle this today. This was terrible, she should have found another way. Maybe she could fake becoming suddenly ill and swipe someone's key on the way out and then sneak in during the night... because prison sounded much more promising than facing both Foggy and Matt.

"You know I wouldn't have left if it wasn't important," Matt told her. The sincerity in his voice made her have to look down at her feet and close her eyes. She had to be honest with him about who she was spending her time with. Leading him on like this was immature and... quite frankly a bit whore-ish.

 _Which is probably why he should understand completely._

In the elevator, though? As the floors were passing by and they could be interrupted any second? She was supposed to be concentrating on what she had to question Foggy about and now compensate for the added variable of Matt showing up. One problem at a time.

"I don't need an explanation. I understand what you do and it'd be foolish and selfish to think a kiss could keep you away from it." Karen offered at last, wondering what he thought of her racing heart.

His hand was around hers and Karen found herself remembering the feel of Frank's hands on her. The soft yet sure way they pulled her close. The way his eyes looked down at her in the shower.

The set of Matt's mouth seemed to convey the same emotions. Concern and something else. Something she feared might be guilt. If he thought she would be that torn up about his absence then he really had no idea how much she was used to it.

Or who had been coming to her bed to help her forget everything.

The elevators opened, interrupting their cautious conversation. Karen slipped her hand into his offered arm and put the appearance of her leading him back into place.

Once the receptionist heard the name _Matt Murdock,_ they were rushed into a spacious office and were alone again. That was some rather prompt service for someone who claims he hardly ever sees Foggy anymore. They were even offered a list of refreshments including iced coffee.

She really should have visited sooner.

When they were alone once again and with caffeine and water, Karen flopped down into the chair behind Foggy's desk. It was squeaky and seemed to mold around her body. It beckoned her to nap yet made her cringe with every move.

 _Alright, moving on. Where's the private bar hidden, big wig?_

"What are you doing?" Matt asked as her eyes carefully scanned the clutter-free desk with disappointment. This was hardly Foggy's style of organization, in fact it seemed as though he hardly spent time in the office. It was certainly missing a sense of Foggy.

Karen shrugged, "I want to make sure he's at least comfortable in the lion's den." She sat back in the chair trying to give off a comfortable vibe just as Foggy walked in.

Karen didn't need superpowers to pick up on Foggy's foul mood and she stood up quickly like kid caught in dad's office.

"Karen," Foggy said, stopping short in his angry stride as soon as he saw her. "You're here. I don't know why I'm surprised."

Foggy gave her one last weary look to make her feel inches tall before turning to Matt. She wondered if he had learned to do that here or if he always had that fierceness to him. He definitely wasn't the same Foggy who had drank countless nights away with her.

Karen held her arms and turned to look at the art on the wall, just to have a distraction for a few seconds while she blinked away more guilty tears.

"I take it she's finally up to speed," she heard Foggy say to Matt.

"Well, a few months back I told her I'm Daredevil if that's - "

"Dammit, Matt!" Foggy hissed, causing Karen to turn back to the two of them just in time to watch Foggy slam his bag onto his desk. "I told you to keep it vague around here." His hands were shaking as he pulled open drawers and added folders to his bag.

"I forgot," Matt said in a sheepish voice.

"Well don't get comfortable, we're going out," Foggy said as he looked through a folder and then decided to leave it.

"I thought you had a lunch with your partners," Karen said, eyeing the time. There was no way he would be on time for that if she had her way.

"I do, guess that makes you one again." Foggy said, at last flashing her a halfhearted smile before leading the way out the office door.

Foggy had begged them to keep their heads down as they left and refused conversation even in the elevator. It wasn't until they exited the building that Foggy let out a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. Karen thought it seemed as though much of the tension exhaled out of him as well.

"Please tell me you got a ride here with Karen," Foggy said to Matt who was just about to shake his head when Karen butted in.

"I drove. Pretty dumb. Parking garages are making me rethink taking the damn thing everywhere," Karen said as she swung her key ring on her finger. Matt smirked and caught it as she swung it too hard and it flew off her finger. Foggy ran a hand over his face and looked as though he was going to have an aneurysm.

"Matt, if you've ever loved me, then _please_! Stop. Doing. That. Shit." Foggy's teeth were clenched and he was so melodramatic about it all that Karen almost laughed. But then the wrath of Foggy might be directed at her so she just cleared her throat.

"So, uh, you need me to drive I take it?" Karen asked. They nodded and followed her to her car.

A thought nagged at her as they walked. Foggy must have some reason for being so dramatic, but she was afraid to be the first one to talk. In that aspect, the reality of getting some answers was beginning to look dim. Although, she did have the gang back together... and knowing she was back in the mix of things made her want to smile.

They piled in and Matt ducked into the back, letting Foggy take the passenger seat.

"Well, I'm starving," Karen said with a big smile once they were all settled in.

"Great, I ordered take out," Foggy said. Karen gritted her teeth as her smile faltered.

 _More parking._

Way too long later after they were done bickering about where to park and then deciding to drop Foggy off and just go around the block to pick him back up, they sat in uncomfortable silence around two over stuffed bags of delightful smelling Chinese take out.

"So, has the lunch meeting started yet?" Karen asked, wondering if she could manage chopsticks while driving.

Foggy shook his head and told her the street they were headed to. An odd neighborhood for a meeting.

"He's afraid it isn't safe to talk in here," Matt said. "Little does he know, huh?"

"Oh what, Matt? What don't I know now?" Foggy asked as Karen felt like the blood was draining from her face.

"Karen lost this car, remember? I told you all about the day I found her in a warehouse with Frank Castle, a dead ex-soldier, and her car crashed into the side of the building," Matt sounded angrier with each word.

"I remember a lot of yelling," Foggy offered with a shrug and Karen realized Matt and Foggy had been seeing a lot more of each other than she was led to believe. Why was it all such a secret?

"I was under the impression she left the car, now she has it today and it has a new paint job. It seems obvious to me that Frank must have gone back for the car and fixed it all up for her and only just gave it back to her."

"That's not making me feel much better, what's your point?" Foggy asked.

"My point is, Frank would have found any type of hidden camera or recorder or bugs or any of that shit, alright? So stop acting like such an asshole and let's bring her up to speed before we visit-"

"It doesn't matter, Matt. Not when the car was left alone in a parking garage. Not when Karen Page 'randomly' shows up the same exact time as you!"

"You sound paranoid."

"Good, because you two sound reckless and my paranoia is probably going to be the only thing saving our asses."

They sat in silence at a red light while Karen had to wonder where the hell they were going. She hated the norm of all of this.

"Why, Foggy? Why are you so paranoid?" Karen dared to ask. The light changed and she moved with traffic.

"Why am I so paranoid?" Foggy repeated and promptly scoffed in disbelief. "I'm sure you've heard about the assassination on Wilson Fisk's team of lawyers?"

When Karen nodded, Foggy continued bitterly, "My partners were all too eager accept his terms and now I find myself representing him and living in the cross hairs of someone insane and dangerous. Again. This, of course, is after my best friend goes and questions Fisk on his own, making sure he's in the pictureas well and you... well you know what it is that you do Karen," Foggy shook his head and stared out the window again. "I don't know why I was surprised when I heard you'd been seen with Daredevil, but then you were involved in... one of the Punisher's massacres. You can't _not_ dive into it all, Karen... And I for one am glad I've avoided most of this drama."

"You're confusing me," Karen said slowly, trying not to give into her irritation. "And pissing me off."

 _Here it is, I can breath soon._ Karen thought as she pulled into the parking lot Foggy had directed her to. As she was parking, Matt put a hand on Foggy's shoulder and said, "Why don't you take a breather, bud."

Foggy nodded, keeping his mouth shut in a firm line as he stepped out of the car. Karen breathed when Matt stepped out too, figuring he was going to calm his best friend so they could stop freaking out and bring her in on the big secret so she could freak out too.

 _Wait..._

Then the passenger door opened and Matt was sitting beside her, wearing his diplomatic smirk.

"So, what's got him so freaked?" Karen asked, sparing Foggy a glance. He stood with his face in his hands looking like the anti-Foggy. She considered that it may have been a mistake getting involved this time, but how could she turn away when something was affecting her friend in such a way?

"His firm is helping Fisk get out of prison," Matt said softly. It wasn't too much of a shock, she had known some blood-sucking group of lawyers would be helping him soon enough. She had just hoped it wouldn't end up being Foggy's.

"Which he must be very vocally against," Karen said with an understanding nod.

"Right, so they blackmail him and make his life miserable-"

"We can help him. Matt, you can help him, I know it. He doesn't need to live like that," Karen felt herself getting worked up again until Matt put his hand on hers and her thoughts came to an abrupt stop.

"I already have a secret file ready for that, don't worry, but Foggy wants to focus on the important things right now. Like keeping everyone alive." As Matt spoke, Karen found her eyes drawn to the movement of his lips. The way his mouth seemed to smirk around every word. How could the world come to a complete halt around her as she pondered what she wanted out of life? With just a smirk on those lips and a hand on hers, her handle on things was slipping.

His words barely reached her but she heard herself scoff in response and say with unnecessary bitterness, "A fool's quest."

"You've had people come after you, Karen, and I'm sure you've been able to guess that I've had my share of run ins with assassinations over the past few months," he pulled his hand away from hers. Karen felt herself redden as she realized how hung up she was on that instead of what he was saying to her. She offered a nod at the least.

"The Punisher reached out to Foggy last night and told him to set this meeting up. Foggy said he didn't offer any details but I think that between the two of them, they just got too paranoid to stay on the phone," Matt said with a short laugh.

Karen blinked, "What?"

"Yeah, Castle and Foggy have developed an odd relationship right under our noses. Fisk was hoping to manipulate Castle from prison into taking care of his competition in the city, instead Castle left town for a while. Now, Fisk seems to just want all of us dead and the two have bonded over it."

Though appreciating his calm approach to everything, that wasn't what she was questioning but since he brought it up - what the hell? Foggy and Frank bond? Karen wondered if it was her turn to freak out now.

"What, so wait. Wh-what are we doing here? A lunch meeting?" Karen asked, hating the sound of herself stuttering.

 _Tell him, holy shit you need to tell him right now. Matt, I fucked Frank last night and it was amazing. Absolutely amazing... Now say it out loud, but not like that._

Matt put a gentle hand to her cheek and looked at her with sympathy, "You can take off if you want. I didn't think you'd be able to handle Castle again so soon."

Foggy pounded on the glass just in time to interrupt her heart attack at Matt's choice of words. "Come on!" He said, apparently eager to see his new friend, "I'm calm and hungry."

And then they were all walking up to the dilapidated building. Like things were just normal. Matt and Foggy carried the take out and Karen looked at the door of the building Frank Castle lived in.

 _Frank Castle doesn't live here,_ Karen found herself thinking. _He lived in a house with a family and his whole life turned to ash. The ghost lives here now._ She shuddered as Foggy knocked on the door. It sounded suspiciously like a secret knock. Looking between her two friends, Karen decided that she needed to let it all go for now. There would be time for their silly games later, but if she was going to be in the inner circle again, then she was going to let it be for a good reason. Not so she could bounce between two hunky guys. Though she was really just bouncing with Frank.

 _Self high five. Alright, that's enough._

It seemed like a long time passed before she heard the click of the lock.

"Alright," Foggy said, an edge to his voice again as he pushed open the door. Karen squinted her eyes as they walked into the old, dusty building. The place used to be a service garage and was still filled with old parts and machinery, but nothing like she imagined The Punisher lair would be.

Then Foggy led them to another room. This room looked like it had been the break room, complete with a broken vending machine, old couch, and coffee table. There was even an ash tray with half a cigar still burning in it.

"Food!" Foggy shouted as he set the bags on the coffee table. Karen rolled her eyes at him before helping unpack the bags.

She heard his footsteps as he walked into the room. She felt the way his presence filled the room in the goosebumps on her arms, even before Matt and Foggy gave him their mixed greetings. Foggy's were comfortable while Matt's short.

Karen straightened and, unable to put it off any longer, looked over her shoulder to offer her own greeting. Then her eyes met Frank's and her words died in her throat. They were full of questions and everything else she remembered from the morning. It was enough to break any resolve she had pretended she was capable of.

"Afternoon, everyone. Few more than I expected, Nelson." Frank said, turning his gaze to Foggy. Karen let out a breath and turned back to the coffee table. She took a box at random and leaned against the counter to pick through it.

"What?! You invited Matt and you know Karen's a natural born stow away!" Foggy rushed to his own defense.

Karen watched Frank wave him off as he grabbed a box off the table. "Thanks for dinner," he said around a mouthful of food as he walked out of the room.

"Some gratitude at last," Foggy said, voice heavy with sarcasm as he flashed Karen a smirk. It was hard not to return it.

Just when Karen was growing suspicious that Frank had just used the situation for food, he came back to the room and tossed something onto the coffee table. Karen went to follow Matt and Foggy's lead to investigate it, but suddenly Frank was standing in front of her.

She had thought it would be impossible for him to have this effect on her with Matt and Foggy there. With them distracted, though, and Frank looking at her like that... she felt like the rest of the room had melted away for a moment.

"You'll regret coming here," Frank told her and she had a hard time finding a response to that. He wasn't telling her she couldn't handle this or berating her for seemingly stalking him, just telling her something she already knew.

"Some sort of science facility." Foggy was explaining to Matt as he looked through a handful of pictures. "Bio hazardous waste. Mhm mhm. Hogarth looking shady, yes."

Their voices seemed to break Karen out of her spell and she brushed past Frank to get an eyeful as well.

"What's all this mean?" Matt asked.

"I don't know, fully." Frank said as he went back to shoveling food into his mouth. "Gotta investigate more, my latest source said Fisk has been all about this place. I think it's some sort of back up plan for when I don't clean the streets up to his liking."

Matt was frowning as he asked, "Your source?"

"Fisk wanted him dead or else he would've just called," Frank said with a shrug.

Foggy had his face in his hands, "We agreed you wouldn't tell me those things. It hurts my soul when you remind me how much you murder."

"You've had lunch with worse," Frank said with a shrug. "Anyway, I'd been following these guys to a deal, hoping to take them all out..." Making eye contact with Foggy, he cleared his throat and continued, "Well, those are trivial details. All you need to know was that it was a set up and when they thought they had the upper hand, I was given a job. I should have seen it coming, it's how he operates. He doesn't think I'm doing enough, so he gives me specific instructions and makes it impossible to refuse."

"What do you mean?" Karen asked.

"He proves they need to be punished," Frank told her and she couldn't help the shudder that went through her. There were lines forming by his eyes and she felt worse when she recognized his regret.

 _His eyes were never more blue, though..._

"So they deserve it?" Foggy asked as he stood up. "What did they do? Maybe I can help them?"

"I didn't let him tell me. But the hit's for Karen." Frank said. Then everyone was doing the worst thing they could possibly do - stare at her.

Karen wanted to snap at them to knock it off. This wasn't the first time her life had been threatened and apparently it was going to be a regular thing so could they just all get used to it already?

But something else Frank had said made it hard to speak.

 _He proves they need to be punished._

 _Just tell them everything. Start from the night in the field. End with the sex from last night. Just let it all out._

Karen squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head as Matt turned to Frank and asked, "Why?"

"I don't know," Frank was saying as Karen stood up and smoothed the front of her dress with shaking hands. "He started talking about how she's been connected to the wrong people. Something about a story she's working on, too. I, uh, guess you could say I changed the subject after that."

If she tuned out what they were talking about for a minute or two, Karen really couldn't be blamed. She walked to the door, not sure what she was doing but knowing she couldn't stand to be in that room any longer.

"Karen?"

It was Matt. Karen knew she couldn't handle his concern. Right now, nothing could make her feel worse. So, she gripped the door frame and tried to stay grounded. "I'm just gonna get some air."

Nothing else was said as she walked outside and for that she was thankful.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Karen was bent over with her hands on her thighs trying to convince herself not to puke. The sun beat down on her and wasn't helping her feel any better. Wiping her sweaty forehead, Karen squeezed her eyes shut against the world.

"Oh shit. Oh my God. Holy shit," Karen repeated under her breath as her chest tightened with fear. _What the hell am I going to do?_

Frank was in her head, looking at her with those sad eyes and saying, _The hit's on Karen._ Well, fuck him for not fearing Fisk. Everyone underestimated him until he was towering over them.

Their safety was all a facade. The day he went to prison had been one of the best days she'd had in a while. Like a child, she figured they had thrown away the key and that was that. God, they were all so stupid.

Tightening her fists, she found herself sinking into thoughts she had never wanted to again. She wished so badly to be back at that table with Westley. Only this time, instead of the pompous bodyguard it was the monster himself, Wilson Fisk. He'd sit there and taunt her with a gun between them. She longed for him to make the same stupid mistakes. Don't tie her up. Assume she can't handle a little drug induced nap. Assume she'd never kill.

She'd aim for the head this time.

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of the door opening. The world came back into focus and she relaxed her fists as Foggy came to her side. Karen felt ashamed of her dark thoughts and looked away from his forced smile.

"So," he said in his uncomfortable, abrupt voice. "Bullshit, huh?"

"Yeah. Totally." She shook her head at Foggy's attempt at lightening her mood. It was always appreciated, but she didn't have much more than half a smile to offer him. Straightening up, she decided to try and tempt him into running away with her, "What do you say we ditch the drama queens for some Josie's?"

Foggy's smile didn't seem so forced this time, "If I didn't have my soul sucking job to get back to..."

"Yeah, I know, you've always been the responsible one," Karen said and tried not to sound too disappointed. She'd probably be talking herself into running away on her own if he hadn't come out there.

"Oh, you know I'm still susceptible to your bad influence, just not until after five."

Karen gave a small laugh. She enjoyed the way Foggy couldn't keep the smiles away, even when she thought it was the last thing she could do right then.

"It's okay Foggy. I'll be okay. There's just... a lot to take in," she finished lamely. She appreciated the kindness, but she knew the questioning and the scolding and the suffocating protection would come soon enough.

"No, Karen, it's not okay. Actually, none of it is. Fisk won't stop until he gets what he wants."

"All of us dead?" Karen asked.

Foggy paused to give a sigh before saying, "Or under his control. Matt and Frank want to start by investigating this science lab, though they have different approaches to handling it." Foggy said.

Karen bit the corner of her lips and nodded, trying to keep her mouth shut. Just then, they heard shouting coming from inside. Then things breaking.

"Oh, Jesus give me strength," Foggy said with a roll of his eyes and headed back into the building. Karen could hear Frank's deep voice shouting before the door closed and she recognized the passion in his words.

"I don't give a _damn_ about keeping him in prison, Red! The sooner he's out, the sooner I put him down!"

"That's not how we fix this!"

Then the door was closed and it was just noise from out there. Karen shuddered as she stared at the closed door. She looked to her car and then the door again. Though she didn't want them murdering each other, she didn't have any confidence left to face them.

She wanted to run to her car and drive away. Oh, more than anything she was sure that's what she wanted.

 _Then go._

Karen leaned her forehead against the hot brick wall. How could she go and cower when she needed to question someone?

And she had so many questions for Frank. He didn't lie to her, he just kept very important things from her despite having ample of time to confide in her. Not that they were into sharing with each other or discussing their days...

She wasn't going to lie to herself. Frank was someone she cared about. It had been that way almost right away. Knowing that Fisk wanted Frank under his control worried her. Fisk was an expert manipulator and Frank had some easily manipulative sore spots.

Frank acted like he was beyond Fisk's reach, but she knew there was more to their past than he was letting on. If Fisk had gotten into Frank's head before, she was sure he would keep trying.

Karen felt guilty about her past everyday, but she doubted the simple fact of her secret could bring the wrath of The Punisher... but if anyone could find a way to twist the truth enough it would be Fisk.

She had to help fix this. The only thing she needed was a little more information from Frank.

 _Yep, just that one little thing is all I need._

As she finally had the nerve to reach for the door handle, Matt and Foggy came bursting out and she had to scramble backwards to get out of their way. They were mid-argument. Matt was going on about dealing with madmen while Foggy pleaded with him to change his mind.

"Just come back in and we can... compromise or something!" Foggy pleaded.

Matt shook his head, "There's no compromising with him, he's like a stubborn old man." They argued their way past Karen before at last stopping and looking at her in unison. "We got all we can from him. I think we'll be better off moving ahead on our own." Matt's words were bitter. Part of her wanted to agree with him, but she knew there was more to all of it.

"Uh, well I wanted to ask Frank some questions of my own. Sorry, I mean, you were going to take a cab before I showed up right?" Karen asked, not appreciating the way she couldn't _not_ sound guilty as sin.

Matt looked like he wanted to say something, but she hoped he was remembering all the other times he tried to warn her away from something. Something made him change his mind and he nodded along with Foggy. "Yeah... but you should get in touch later."

She wasn't sure how she manged to stay so level headed as she nodded, gave a small wave, and opened the door.

Of course, she wasted a confident entrance on an empty room because Frank wasn't in the break room where she had left him. Karen stood still and tried to listen for him. There was no way he didn't know she was there so he had better not be playing games.

Then she heard a familiar sound. It sounded like someone taking their day out on a punching bag. Karen followed the faint sound down the back hallway of the building. At last, she ended in a room it seemed Frank had turned into his own little gym.

The man was quick, already shirtless and with bandaged hands as he wailed into the bag. Her eyes were drawn to the muscles as they rippled in his back and arms.

She closed the door behind her and Frank straightened at the sound. He panted only slightly as he held onto the bag to slow its swaying. "I told you I'd get a hold of you."

Letting out a slow breath, Karen tried to tell herself not to let him get to her. _As if._

"When was I going to be told anything? After you got yourself killed trying to take down Fisk?" Karen asked. Realizing they were getting off subject right away, she closed her eyes and sighed. "Listen, I'm not looking for a fight."

"No, you're just looking for the fire. Now look what it's got you," Frank walked to a sink at the side of the room where he filled a glass with water and took a long drink. She just wanted him to come to her, take her into his arms and tell her he was going to solve all of it.

But his bitter, passive aggressive words pissed her off and reminded her why she couldn't live in a fantasy world. Why did he have to do that? He had to be an asshole just to keep her reminded of how rotten he was?

She raised her chin and crossed her arms, "Fisk was going to make his next power play sooner or later. If the hit wasn't on me, it'd be someone else," Maybe she said all that for her sake more than his but she had to drive on with her point while she could. "Just tell me what your 'source' really said."

The way he turned his head told her she was on the right path. At last he turned to her. The look on his face made her take a step back into the door.

"He said a lot of shit, they usually do when I start asking questions." His voice was low as he walked towards her and it made her falter.

"Stop trying to scare me Frank," Karen said, her voice on the verge of trembling. She held onto herself, telling herself to keep her chin up as he came to her without the open arms she wanted.

"Dammit, Karen, you should be scared!" He pounded his fist against the wall, making her jump. "What do you want me to do? Train you and fill your head with thoughts of defending yourself?"

Narrowing her eyes, Karen placed her hands on Frank's chest to push him out of her personal space and shouted, "Don't mock me!"

The shove didn't do much to move him. Instead, he pushed his chest against her hands and said, "If he cared about you, he'd tell you to get in that car and get the hell out of this city."

Then he walked away again, leaving her trembling with fear, anger, and confusion about the sudden change in subject. She watched him go back to the punching bag and knew he was fighting some sort of inner battle when his hands started flying.

"If Fisk can manipulate you, it won't matter where I go," Karen said, an edge of desperation raising her voice as she tried to get him to focus. He kept punching and acting as though her words weren't reaching him. "If I can help it, he's _not_ going to have that chance. Just tell me what your 'source' said about me and that science lab. Then I'll do what I have to and... and I'll get outta here." "Here" could mean "the city" if that's what he wanted to believe she meant. If it meant he'd come out with it all already.

She wasn't sure he heard her and was about to repeat herself until he straightened and turned to her. His eyes darted along the length of her body so quickly yet she still felt them take in her body. It made Karen's face burn.

"He said you were dangerous." Frank said.

Karen scoffed to draw attention from her face that was getting more red by the second. "Well, that's vague. What else?" Apparently he was going to need pushed along the whole conversation.

"He said Fisk was going to expose the bloody trail you've left before you can expose his. He said it'd be easy, you make friends and enemies and both are... easy to get to." Frank looked away from her and Karen told herself not to feel relieved yet. It was obvious there was more. "I hurt him after that. Then he told me about the lab. He said they were making something there or testing it out. I don't know. He couldn't think of anything else to say. Fisk seemed to have led him to believe I would be cooperative."

At last, she let out that sigh of relief. Fisk didn't know anything, that or he was holding onto his secrets in order to strike hard all at once. Karen shuddered.

"So where is this lab?"

There were lines forming by Frank's eyes and in his forehead. She took it as a sign that he was done distancing himself - or at least forgot to for a moment. "Why would you need to know where the lab is?"

Karen shrugged, balking under the question. "I-I uh... like knowing the setting of... I mean to avoid the street entirely - "

A short laugh came out of Frank and she bit her lip as that teasing smile threatened to form completely. She closed her eyes and told herself to regroup. Damn his smile.

"All that and you're still gonna try feeding me bullshit. Why didn't you just go with _him_ , huh?" When Frank nodded towards the door, she realized he meant Matt. "You could've easily talked him into taking you there. Looks to me like he'd gladly choke on any shit you shoved his way anyway."

Karen gaped at him, hating how she felt like she just ran into a wall and knocked everything sensible out of her head.

"What-What-" Her emotions were racing back and it was hard to get out what she wanted to say. Or to know what to say.

"Just be honest Karen. Have you at least learned something from all his _training_?" His tone was taunting and she tried to tell herself once again that he was just looking for a fight. He was trying to get her angry, for some stupid reason.

She wanted to know how he knew about what she did, but anger was bubbling inside of her and it made her words a whole lot less calculated.

"What does it matter what I do with my life, so long as I'm available every few months for yours?" His smirk was gone and he straightened as if to give her a rebuttal but she didn't care to hear anything he had to say. She shook her head and reached for the door as she said, "Just don't... don't help me. Don't follow me. Don't get in touch."

She opened the door and wanted to run away.

 _You still don't have anything on this lab._

Karen hurried down the hall as her mind raced. She heard Frank's fists hitting the punching bag again and she at least knew he wasn't following her. It did nothing for her racing heart and shaking hands.

As she stormed by the break room and passed car parts, she drilled her mind about how she would move forward. Then she spotted it near the door, a forgotten photograph. Foggy and Matt must have dropped it in their hurried departure. Karen snatched it up and made her own quick escape from the building.

She tried to keep her chin up as she went to her car, but she wasn't feeling the relief she thought she would as Frank's place disappeared from her rear view mirror.

During the drive back to work, Karen became somewhat aware that she was having a hard time concentrating. At every stop light she ended up slamming her break with a curse and getting honked at a little more than usual. None of it really reached her as she made her way through the city.

Back in her office, Karen held her head in her hands and thought about her day. Even as she knew she had just basically yelled at him and ran for it, even as she thought of how he had been pushing her away with his words... her thoughts would drift back to that tiny smirk. Damn him.

Karen sat back in her chair with a sigh. More than anything, she wanted to open up that bottle of scotch and call it a day. Under the pity party, though, she knew there was more she could do with her night.

Taking out the picture she had snatched, Karen frowned at the angle. It was one of the sloppier ones, but half of the name on the building was visible. If she could figure out the name of the place, a whole new set of possibilities would be open to her.

She held the picture closer, just before the point of being cross-eyed. Then she saw, it wasn't a sloppy picture in the least. There was a street sign plain as day in the lower left corner!

 _A street and half a name - that's plenty to go on._

Karen sat there for a few moments, though, wondering what exactly she should do with this information. It was pretty obvious that Frank wanted her to get out of the city and that he had plans for this place. Which meant anything in the building that could be used against Fisk would soon be destroyed.

She wasn't certain what Matt might do. She suspected he might be keeping an eye on the place, or Frank, or her...

 _I'll just have to get in and out before them._ Karen thought to herself with a nod. She'd find out what Fisk's people were doing in that lab and how he was able to get himself connected with something like that from within prison. Then she'd publish it all. Maybe he'd get life.

Which was how Karen found herself in the Bulletin's archives - the best place she had to go to for research - poured over a laptop and stacks of papers.

It didn't take long for her to find the building. Their records needed some obvious updates as the only paperwork they really had on it listed it as an older building used for medical offices. When she found an older set of blueprints among the paperwork, she figured it had to still be pretty similar and therefor useful. Well, she hoped.

Karen tried committing the blueprints to memory for a while before she looked over both shoulders. Satisfied she was alone, she stuffed them into an innocent looking folder. There were still a few hours left in the business day so she packed up her things and expertly avoided eye contact as she left the office.

She thought going straight to the security guards outside the lab and dropping her job title might be worth a shot. Her confidence might have been a little crushed when they scoffed her off, but the stolen key card in her purse made her feel like her quick visit had been worth it. As she drove back to her apartment to regroup, Karen smiled at the small success. It made her one-woman mission seem that much attainable and important.

Her cellphone began ringing as soon as she entered her apartment and it didn't stop as she dug through her closet - or rather, the boxes in her closet she still hadn't unpacked.

A glance told her it was Matt and so she turned it to silent for now.

Then she went back to picking out her outfit for the night. She was strictly a girly girl and owned mostly flowy type things and high heels. Well, she knew she had something packed away from her past investigations. Ellison had urged her to get better at getting a little more anonymous on her investigations if she insisted on going "overboard" all the time, whatever that meant.

At last she found the box she needed. From inside she pulled out a long, black wig. She always felt the dark color changed her appearance enough as it was that she could justify wearing a fashionable, dark dress with a pair of leggings and the flattest, most sensible boots she had.

She changed her clothes, pinned her hair up ad donned the wig. Dark make up completed the look and she felt confident she wouldn't be recognized in any cameras. Her gun was at her side and she hoped she didn't need it tonight. In and out is what she would do. As long as she could help it.

A glance at the clock told her it was way too early to be breaking and entering so she unfolded the blueprints and tried committing them to memory. She figured the few hours she had to kill should be enough time to learn all the outs and ins of the old building - assuming they hadn't remodeled too much.

It was an older building and had switched hands numerous times. This seemed like it may be lucky to her as she spotted several underground accesses. It seemed odd to her and worth a further investigation at a later time. Tonight, however, it was going to be an excellent exploit.

When she couldn't sit still any longer, Karen donned a pair of gloves and her boots. She grabbed her old backpack for anything she might come across that she needed once she got inside.

Then, after she triple checked that she was ready, Karen left her apartment.

So what if she didn't have superpowers? She had a certain know how and access to things she didn't know. She had some self defense training and a gun. She could do this.

Hyping herself up and the leftover adrenaline from yelling at Frank were enough to get her through the early parts. It wasn't until after she made her way through the old sewer and was climbing down the ladder into an access tunnel that she started feeling the doubt creep back in.

At last, the tunnel took her into the basement and she knew the easy parts were behind her. She had tried her best to commit the blueprints to memory, but she had no way of knowing how accurate they were. She also had no way of telling if anyone was on the other side of the door.

Taking a breath, she walked up the stairs to the door she hoped would take her to the main level of the lab. There was a slot for a key card and she knew it was time to take the next plunge. Confidently, she swiped the card and held her breath.

The light turned green. Karen cracked the door and hoped for well-oiled hinges.

A loud creak echoed down the empty hallway and she bit down onto her lip with a cringe.

 _This is stupid._

Karen wanted to agree with her rational side and back into the basement again. Instead, she crept down the hallway and tried to take every part of her surroundings in. This was the ground level, with the most open windows and wide spaces. There was a welcoming lobby and night shift guard to sneak by and several empty conference rooms.

Karen knew the place was only a few stories high. She felt like the offices with important, secretive documents would more than likely be on the top floor. And if she wasn't caught by then, she could press her luck and do a quick scan of the two floors in between.

Then she peeked her head around a corner and gasped when she saw two people walking. A quick burst of bravery for a second look proved they were heading in the other direction. Karen let out an inner victory cheer as she watched them disappear around a corner in a direction she was sure she didn't need.

At last, Karen made it to the stairwell. It was straight forward, which was a double edged sword. It would be fairly easy for her to see anyone coming, with the terrifying gaps in the stairs, but then it would also be easy for others to see her. She tried not to get spooked, but ended up sprinting up the last few set of stairs.

Every step she took was taking her away from her escape route. Karen held onto the railing and tried to catch her breath and calm herself down at the same time. Sometimes, she knew she was ridiculous.

 _Come on, you stay 'til the job's done._

With a nod to herself, Karen swiped the key card and left the stairwell. The hallways were empty and her worn boots were silent on the hallway linoleum. At last, she stood in front of the door she needed. Of course, it required another swipe of the key card. Holding her breath, she waited with screaming in her head for the light to turn green. At last it did with a click and she had to smile as she walked into an office filled to the brim with filing cabinets and bookcases.

Things were going a little too well.

She wasn't going to dwell on it and instead set a timer on her phone. She couldn't afford not to give herself a reminder to get the hell out or she was sure she would bury herself in there with all the shit she was about to uncover.

It took a frustratingly amount of time digging through useless files before Karen noticed an odd receipt. Then it seemed as though the labor sheet seemed a little off to her. There had been so many offices for only that many employees.

Unless they were filled with something else. Or just totally empty.

Her alarm blared through her thoughts and she cursed under her breath. She figured she could squeeze in a few more minutes before she should get going. So Karen spent the rest of her time stuffing anything that looked suspicious into her backpack and telling herself to hurry the fuck up.

Her heart was pounding by the time she was going back down the hallway.

She was just trying to talk herself into checking out a handful of other offices before she got out of there, when she saw the shadow.

She knew it was him. From the way he held himself and the way the sound of his boots echoed down the hallway.

Turning, Karen took off in the other direction and carelessly rounded a corner.

 _What's he doing here?_ _Why tonight?  
_

Karen told herself she couldn't think about that and instead ducked into a dark room. The door had a window so she didn't want to turn the light on, but Karen was getting creeped out sitting in the shadows of the dark room and waiting for Frank to pass.

He hadn't seen her and she hadn't really seen him, but she knew it was him. The sound of his boots, walking down the hallway like that with such malicious purpose, reminded her of the first time she saw him. At least he didn't seem to be blasting off a shotgun this time.

The shadow came by the door and Karen backed up before she could help it. Her shin banged into something and she covered her mouth before she yelped out. It was when she looked down that she realized her eyes had finally adjusted to the dark. That, combined with the little bit of light that came in through the window was enough to light up the row of beds. Tiny hospital beds complete with restraints. The beds seemed to go on forever, and the light ended before the room.

Her stomach turned, and she knew that she had to find out what happened to the people that used to occupy these beds. Why were they here in the first place and where are they now? She needed photos of all of this.

Then the light was blocked and Karen looked to the window. She tried to tell herself he couldn't see her, there was no way, it was too dark. It didn't work. She watched Frank's face as he searched through the glass.

 _No wonder I didn't have a problem with security this whole time,_ Karen thought to herself as she began backing up again. _But why is he here?_

She tried to think. There should be a stairwell on the other side of the building she could get to now that Frank seemed to be going the same direction as her. But right now, she was at a dead end and he was suspicious. If she didn't get him off her trail... well she didn't know what would happen.

Of course Karen wanted to believe that Frank would never judge her harshly for her past. In fact, she had always imagined if she told anyone the truth, it would be him.

But she knew Fisk's resources and she couldn't shake the fear that already the man at the door was a tool of the kingpin of crime.

Karen realized she wasn't hitting a wall and turned around. It was dark ahead of her, but it seemed like she could make out a light. Fear loosened its grip on her heart the tiniest bit as she took careful steps forward. Still, there was no wall. Her eyes adjusted and she saw the room went on for a while with doors every now and then. Light from the hallway shined through the windows in the doors, giving the large room the tiniest bit of light. They had definitely remodeled.

Then she heard the door open behind her and the hairs on the back of her neck raised. Karen panicked as she started running. A flashlight shone down the length of the room towards her and it made her heart pound that much harder as she burst out the next door and into a hallway.

Karen carelessly took corners and tore into more empty yet hauntingly decorated rooms. She heard him bang into the rooms after her just as she was leaving. She pushed herself to go faster.

At last, she turned a corner and stopped hearing him behind her. Which was a relief because she was certain the other stairwell was just at the end of the next hallway.

Halfway through her sprint down the hallway, Karen realized the doors in front of her were definitely elevator doors. And other than that, it seemed like a dead end. Unless she wanted to run blindly through more connected rooms of horror.

 _No no no no, oh shit. Damn, damn, damn. Just hurry the hell up you damn slow thing._ Karen was swearing under her breath as she entered the elevator. She pushed the "sub level" button and then began jamming on the "close doors" button repeatedly while her cursing steadily grew louder. At last, the doors began their slow close. She found it difficult to breathe as the anticipation from watching the doors close was slowly killing her.

Just as the hallway was about to disappear from view and Karen was gnawing her nails to try to calm herself, Frank came around the corner. Even from all the way down the hallway, meeting his gaze made her heart still. He started to run, but the doors at last did their job and closed all the way.

Karen exhaled at last. With one hand she held onto the rail and with the other she gripped her .380 as she gasped for air.

 _Calm down. You're nearly there. Just get out of here and disappear into the crowd._

Then the doors slid open. As soon as Karen squinted against the light that flooded into the elevator, she knew she had fucked up.

Carefully, she stepped out of the elevator and let her eyes adjust. She had walked out onto a platform. The platform wrapped around the edge of the room, leaving an observation area in the middle down to the level below. Karen noticed it seemed to be a surgical setting, but she didn't allow herself time to dwell on it. Right now, she needed to look for a way out of there.

Karen's eyes scanned the room desperately. Then she saw the emergency exit, just on the opposite side of the platform. It was a ladder leading up to what looked like an escape hatch. Seemed like a step in the right direction so she ran there.

Just as she reached the ladder, she heard the elevator ding behind her. She didn't bother looking over her shoulder and instead scrambled up the ladder.

Of course, the exit hatch needed her key card.

 _Some emergency exit,_ Karen thought bitterly as she swiped again and again. At last the light turned green and she climbed through just as Frank jumped onto the ladder.

Karen stood up and took off, telling herself she would have to get her bearings on the way. Her backpack flapped against her as she sprinted through a parking lot into an alley.

It wasn't until she went down a few more blocks and a few more turns that she thought she could slow down.

Then an explosion threw her to the ground.

Karen groaned as she sat up. Her gun was on the ground in front of her and she snatched it up quickly.

Then she saw the smoke and the fire and she froze where she was on the ground. Karen knew it was the lab. She clutched her gun to her as she slowly stood up. As she watched the smoke and debris spread, she told herself to run.

Then she saw him. The cloud of destruction seemed to stop and he came walking out of it, coughing and stumbling. Though she wasn't sure if he saw her yet, Karen raised her gun. Frank went down to one knee, catching himself slightly with a hand on the wall. The sight of him tore her inside. He was obviously hurt and she yearned to go to him, but on the other hand... what the fuck did he just do?

"Did you just try to blow me up?" Karen asked, or more accurately shrieked at, him.

"I just fucked up."

Karen scoffed. She took a step towards him so she could see his face a little better, just to make sure this wasn't all an elaborate prank. And she kept her gun held high. "You just fucked up?" She repeated with disbelief.

Frank straightened himself up and took a step towards her.

"I swear, I will shoot you!" Karen warned him. The way her whole body trembled and her mind raced, Karen knew her judgement was getting cloudy, which was why she desperately needed him to keep his distance. "What do you want? Why were you chasing me?"

Frank narrowed his eyes at her. "I was trying to get you out of there because I fucked up and knew the place was going to blow."

"You fucked up?" Karen asked, lowering her gun slightly. "Why?"

"I wasn't trying to. I saw you and the same thing happened that always happens." Frank bit out at her. "I lost focus."

"What are you talking about?" she tried to ask in a calm voice. Her heart was still racing from all the running and she was still shaking from the explosion. Now Frank was blaming his fuck up on her presence? None of that equaled a calm Karen.

She could see he was standing straighter as he came closer to her. The way he looked at her kept her from moving away and she hated the way she searched his eyes to glimpse what he might be feeling. He looked focused to her.

"I was doing a walk through, making sure I got all the kids out. That's when I saw you. I knew it was you long before you took off running," Frank's words made her shiver. Of course he knew it was her. Of course he saved the kids. She felt like an idiot for doubting him and lowered her gun as he continued, "So I followed you through a dark room like an idiot, crashed into something and dropped my detonator. When I found it, it was broken. We're lucky we didn't blow up then."

Karen knew she should thank him. She should explain why she was so stupid all the time and remind him what a good person he was. Honestly, though, if it wasn't his mouth moving then she had no more interest in words. Her heart was racing too much for a calm conversation. She still needed the fire.

Dropping her gun and backpack, Karen took the last step between them and pulled his lips to hers. His hands gripped her arms and waist, pulling back at her and showing that he yearned for it just as much as she did.

Darting her tongue out, she tasted the ash and sweat on his lips before he opened to her. The feel of his tongue against hers just left her wanting more. There had to be much more feeling against each other.

Then the wall was at her back and she paid no attention to the brick scratching through her dress. Not when her heart was racing along with his.

Frank's lips found her neck and she let out a breathy moan as those damn soft lips grazed against her skin. Then he nipped at her earlobe and chuckled at the gasp she let out. But she didn't want this foreplay. She wanted him now.

She slid a a gentle hand down his chest and further still until she could gently stroke his erection through the material of his pants. Then, just to be a little more clear, she reached even further and cupped his balls into a gentle caress.

The way his hips bucked against her made Karen smirk against the skin on his neck. She was just trying to fidget with his belt when he reached up and pulled her wig off, letting her blonde hair fall down. Just as she was thinking she had forgotten she was even wearing that, Frank spoke lowly in her ear, "It'll take more than that to fool me. I'd know you anywhere. That's how I know you belong to me."

Just like that, his words struck a nerve. Bracing herself with a foot against the wall this time, Karen planted her hands on his chest and pushed him away from her for the second time that day. This time, however, he seemed to actually have been caught off guard and was affected a bit more by it.

He stumbled backwards, reaching for the stairs to the fire escape for support. Frank stood there, confusion starting to cloud the hungry look on his face.

"Just undo your pants and sit down," Karen demanded. She was done with games. No more chasing. She was ready to admit that this was what she wanted if it meant she got it.

Without any hesitation, Frank began loosening his pants. Hungrily, Karen watched him and had to bite her lip when his cock poked through the opening in his pants when he sat down.

Then Karen reached under her dress and began sliding her leggings and panties down. She watched him watch her and loved the sight of him. He was disheveled, sprawled across the staircase with his huge, throbbing erection waiting for her. All the excitement only added to the pounding in her chest til her skin felt as though it was humming.

All she wanted was for Frank to feel it too, to feel her. Placing her hand on his chest for balance, Karen peeled the unwanted clothes off over her boots.

Then she straightened and let him pull her to him. His lips were on hers again and his hands were pushing her dress up her bare legs. As Frank's hands explored the soft skin of her legs, Karen reached up to get a grip on the fire escape. He broke the kiss to look up at her questioningly.

Instead of answering, she tightened her grip and pulled herself into his lap, wedging her boots on either side of him. His tongue darted over his lips as he watched her. Then his hands were sliding even further up her dress. Karen shivered when he ran his knuckles along her inner thighs.

Looking down, she was met with the sight of his cock once again. Gently, she ran her fingers up the length of it and gave him the smallest tease with her thumb over the tip. Karen looked up at him with a shy smile, "Are you ready for me?"

Frank's response was a groaned curse word and both of his hands moving to grip her ass. Without warning, he moved her so he could pull her down onto his erection. Karen let out a pleasured cry at the shock and moved to grip his shoulders.

The look on his face as she moved her hips was heavenly. Frank's eyes were heavy lidded as the excitement elicited cries of pleasure from her. His hands on her ass helped her move against him the way she wanted.

The sound of them moving against each other seemed to echo around them, despite the chaos happening not too far away.

The stairs were digging into her legs, but all she could feel was him. Her lips found his and all she could taste was him. She was close and she could tell by the desperate way he clung to her and moved against her that he was, too.

Karen tore her lips from his and moved to whisper in his ear, "You think I belong to you? You're the one who can't stay away from this. From me." Leaning back, she rocked her hips even faster against his as she looked him in the eye and said, "You're mine, Frank."

Frank groaned, "Holy fuck, Karen."

The look in his eyes as she spoke, the way she knew she was affecting him, it was the last thing she could take. Her world shuddered as she clung to him and bucked her hips through the waves of her climax. Soon after, Frank's groaning reached a peak and his arms held her tighter as he came.

Minutes later, they were still catching their breath and slumped against each other in the afterglow. The day threatened to crash back around her, but Karen wasn't ready to move on yet.

Saying what she wanted seemed to work out really well a few moments ago, so she decided to give it another shot and said, "Frank, can we get out of here?"

"Yeah," he said breathlessly. His arms were still tight around her, "I'll take you home."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

 _Reckless._

The word echoed through her head as they ran through alleys and ducked around corners. The sounds of sirens and helicopters were finally reaching her. The crowds of frightened people made it seem impossible that they had gone unnoticed this long.

A surreal fog had settled across everything as they ran further away from Frank's mess. The mess they had reveled in.

The sirens and chaos they were trying to avoid should have felt like a nightmare, but Karen felt like she was walking in a dream. Frank's hand grasping hers as they ran did nothing to convince her this was really happening. Though, it did keep the panic from settling.

At last, Frank stopped at the end of an alley just as a light rain began to fall on them. Gently, he urged her back against the wall with a hand grazing along her stomach and waist. Karen's eyes drifted shut, a pleasant heat spreading back down her belly at the closeness of him. The memory of him. The smell. The feel. It was everything about Frank that did this to her.

Karen wanted to pull him close again, but a cop speeding by with flashing lights and a wailing siren snapped her out of it.

 _Reckless._

Frank was looking down at her and she blinked up at him, certain he was a little more composed than her.

"I'm getting you outta here," he sounded like he was reassuring her. She must seem frightened. It would make a whole lot more sense given their circumstance for her to feel that way instead of like she was walking in the clouds

Frank was moving again, no longer holding her hand yet keeping her focus.

Then they were there. Karen only knew because their movements triggered a blinding motion light and Frank didn't pull out a gun. So... friendly bright light.

Maybe it was all just a momentary lapse of judgement. All Karen knew was that she was not forcing herself to be calm right now. She just was.

He held the door open and rushed her into the darkness. The sound of the door closing seemed to shift her entire world. With a simple _thud_ , the chaos of the night was suddenly gone. Now there was only him and her in the darkness. She could smell sweat and smoke on the both of them. It mixed with the dampness of the light rain they had been caught in, making it all seem so much more innocent than she remembered the night being. Karen watched him secure lock after lock and couldn't help but bite her lower lip as she waited.

They had been together for most of the night now, and Karen realized that things between them had changed. She could feel it in the simple closeness of him in the dark. He had told her he was going to take her home... apparently he had meant with him.

Just when Karen was beginning to feel the urge to question, Frank clicked on a light. Finally, she could take in her surroundings.

The quiet and secluded hide out wasn't much more than a studio apartment. Looking around the mostly bare place, it was odd how comforting she found it. Of course, Frank would have more than one hide out. Made perfect sense to her.

But this place was so unlike the other she had seen only earlier that day. There was no junk, no tech, no weapons that she could see... no wait, there was a machete hanging by the door. Frank was definitely less suspicious if some of his weapons were visible.

Her eyes settled on Frank, who she found watching her. As he silently held her gaze, he began to take off The Punisher's vest. Swallowing, Karen gripped onto the straps of her backpack before sliding it from her shoulders. For a moment, she kept a hold of it and looked down at her hard earned... what? Clue? Dead end? Her thoughts were beginning to race.

"Want a drink?" Frank broke the silence at last. Karen let the backpack slip from her fingers all the way to the floor as she looked back up at him.

"Yeah," She said breathlessly as she met his gaze again. When Frank turned away from her to pull a bottle of vodka from his fridge and a couple of glasses from a cupboard, Karen used the moment to try and break herself out of the fog Frank kept capturing her in and finish taking in her surroundings.

It was pretty straightforward. The smallest kitchen on one side and a sparse bedroom on the other. Next to his mattress, there was a guitar propped against the wall and a large stereo that sat on the floor as well.

"The music helps me sleep," Frank said, now standing beside her and offering her some vodka on the rocks. Karen wasn't sure what to say to that as she took the drink from him. Her thoughts were a battlefield, half of her wanting to succumb to the secluded world her and Frank sometimes inhabited and the other half of her was starting to focus and needed some answers.

When her silence stretched on, an odd look came over Frank's face and as he stepped away from her, he downed his drink in one gulp. It was the most he had ever drank in front of her and she watched him fill his drink up, wondering what it meant.

"You still don't trust me," Frank raised his eyes to her and she realized the look she had seen on his face had been hurt. "I understand, I guess. Probably better that you don't, huh?"

Karen blinked, wondering what it was she had done to show that. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to find the words she wanted to say.

"I'm suddenly terrified, Frank. Because I do trust you. You know me better than anyone ever has before," Karen said. Frank's features softened a little at her words. She wanted to reach to him, but she was afraid of losing the composure she had finally grasped onto. If she let herself surrender to the spell of him again, she'd melt into him and never come back. "I'm afraid whatever I think is happening between us won't mean anything once Fisk has you where he wants you. That's why I'm going to bring him down before he can get to you or me."

Frank looked away with a shake of his head and a scoff that immediately incited Karen's anger. "Wilson Fisk isn't going to be stopped by one of your stories, Karen. Can't you see that?" His voice was rising in volume and Karen started shaking her head.

"You're not going against him alone -"

"And you aren't going against him at all. He's a goddamn tank and my job is to keep you safe. He was dead as soon as I put my sights on him." He was jamming his finger into the counter to accent his point, but Karen just shook her head.

"It's not your job to protect me!"

"No, it is Karen. And killing Wilson Fisk is going to be the next step to keep you safe. I can see that." His voice was dark and low, and she bit her lip in a silent anger as she thought over what she wanted to say.

"He wants to manipulate you into taking out people according to his agenda, Frank." Karen said, carefully.

"So I kill him," Frank said with the stubbornness of a two year old.

Karen shook her head, "Wilson Fisk has hurt and haunted more than just you. I know that we aren't safe with him alive, but he's too dangerous for you to keep facing alone. If he wants to find a way to manipulate you, I believe there's no level he won't stoop to in order to get to you. If he has you under his control, he'll easily be able to get you to - to -" Karen groaned and clenched her fists. It killed her to say this out loud. "Fisk is going to convince you I'm worthy of you unleashing punishment on. He'll use you as his personal killing maching, doing who knows what to this city and dragging you down until you're the monster you still think you are!"

Karen was nearly shouting as loud as he had been. "At this point, Wilson Fisk is anyone's to take on and I've gone through too much to get where I am to stand by idly while he destroys everything I care about!"

Her own words made her groan in frustration. So she drank deeply from her glass.

Avoiding Frank's gaze, Karen walked to his side to grab the bottle of vodka and fill up her drink.

"What's Fisk know about you?" Frank asked. Thankfully, he had waited until she was done taking a drink. Karen looked up at him, her heart still pounding in her ears from her slight outburst earlier. There was concern in his eyes.

 _It's better to come from you first._ She told herself.

Karen took a deep breath, she had never even told a diary this. Of course, through out the years, she had played out everything in her head. Over and over and over again. But having the first person she told be The Punisher and knowing that she felt she could trust him was all so terrifying in a very surreal way.

"I have a brother." Karen closed her eyes and shook her head. Clearing her throat, she opened her eyes and started again. "I _had_ a brother. Kevin. He died and it was my fault."

Frank was silent and she appreciated it. It made things easier to spit out. As did another drink.

"I was minding my own business back then. I noticed things, things everyone else ignored and so I felt like maybe I should ignore them too. Kevin wasn't like that, though. He always felt like he had to do something, if someone was in trouble he had to be the one to step in and help... I thought he was such an idiot." Karen let out a sigh.

Then she continued on, "I had of course heard the rumors about our high school principal being a pervert because everyone had heard it. It was just something everyone said about their principals, is what I thought. But Kevin said he knew it was true. He never said why..."

Karen frowned, thinking back on Kevin's girlfriend who had moved away shortly before his death. She always suspected she had been abused by the principal but could think of no good reason to pursue such a theory and open up old wounds.

"Kevin talked me into driving him around after he got his car taken away for good from our mom and dad. Then we started driving around at night, in weird neighborhoods. Kevin admitted one night he was trying to catch our principal being a pervert and I guess it excited me. We were solving a mystery together."

Karen's smirk was short lived at the memory of some of those earlier nights. He'd always piss her off by smoking in her car and then she would lie for him anyway. They didn't even know what they were doing or where to start.

"We started a file on our principal. Mr. Jenkins. Kevin was becoming obsessed with catching him in the act, now wanting to break into his house. I sat in the car terrified as I heard the gunshots but Kevin came racing out of the house in one piece, clutching a camera. He was so excited as we drove away. I still don't know what it was, but we had some sort of proof to get Mr. Jenkins away from everyone is what Kevin kept saying. He was so excited."

Karen let out a shaky breath, telling herself she couldn't stop now, "Then Kevin noticed a car coming up behind us. It was Mr. Jenkins and he rammed into us, I tried to get away but I was so scared and it seemed like he was everywhere. Blinding me with his brights and mercilessly ramming into us. He forced my car to spin off the road. I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke up there was fire and tree limbs everywhere. Kevin was pinned and I tried to pull him free. He pushed me away from him and I lost my footing. As I fell the rest of the way down the hill, the car burst behind me. I laid in that field at the bottom of the hill, terrified to move. But Mr. Jenkins must not have known I was there. Someone called for help though, because that's where the firemen found me."

Karen blinked back her tears as Frank refilled her glass. She drank it in a few gulps and nodded for a refill.

"I'm so sorry Karen," Frank's voice was gentle. "But it doesn't sound like any of that is your fault."

Karen closed her eyed and shook her head, "I shouldn't have encouraged him. I should have convinced him to go to the police if he knew anything about Mr. Jenkins abusing anyone. He would have listened to me so it was my job to keep his head on the ground."

"Then it sounds like you've punished yourself enough over it," Karen appreciated the softness of Frank right now through the bitterness of her memories and the vodka.

"No, I'm afraid what Wilson Fisk might know is about the revenge I took out on Mr. Jenkins. That's something a little more damning." As Karen's world was already spinning, she forced herself not to take too many more large drinks and instead tightened her grip on her glass and refused to look up at Frank.

She wanted neither his pity or praise.

"I tried to swallow my anger. When I went back to school, I was a senior and for some reason Mr. Jenkins had taken an interest in me. I mean, a sick interest. He would give me detention for things I didn't do, like if there was trash on the floor from another student, he would give me detention. All the time. My parents sent me to therapy because I was sinking deeper into a hole of grief and they understood and wanted the best for me." Karen couldn't fault them that, but she wished she had been brave enough to at least tell them the truth. Now that she was older, she felt like they would have understood. They would have helped her... That was in the past though.

Karen went on, "One evening, I had to go to detention and there was no one there. Except him. He said the education board wanted him to spend more one on one time with troubled students and he knew how troubled I had become since my brother crashed my car. He said a lot of things to me he thought were nice so I'd get into his car with him. It made my blood run cold but I went along. I didn't know what to do. He said he was going to take me to a burger place, but we drove out to a gas station in the middle of nowhere first. He turned the car off and told me to look in the glove compartment."

The memories made Karen want to freeze up and she stared hard at the glass in her hands with pause.

"What was in the glove compartment, Karen?" Frank asked.

"A gun. He said he bet I'd never seen one of those before and I shook my head all wide eyed. My parents had a farm out in the middle of no where, of course my dad had taught me to shoot but I had never seen a .380 before. He said he would use it to protect us and that I shouldn't be scared but it all seemed like a threat to me. When he was in the store, I stuck the gun into my coat and waited. I don't even know where he was going to take me, because as soon as I thought the coast was clear I shot him. I didn't wait to see what his plan was or if he even had one. I couldn't wait because I needed him dead for what he did to Kevin."

Karen felt tears streaming down her face and she wiped at them furiously. There were a lot of overwhelming feelings coursing through her and to finally hear these words out loud was not helping.

"We crashed into these woods until his car hit a large enough tree to stop us. He was just laying there in his seat, crying in pain as he bled out from his belly. "

Karen's voice shook as she remembered all the anger, guilt, and shame she had been carrying. "I got out and threw up. Then I panicked and started to run away. Leaving him and his smoking car behind. I was out of the woods when I heard the explosion, and it's a mystery the police are still trying to solve."

Frank was refilling his own glass as she finished telling her story. Karen told herself she appreciated the silence and couldn't stop now.

"Wilson Fisk might also be after me because of his employee I killed in self defense." Karen nearly whispered. The way Frank looked at her told her he definitely wasn't expecting her to have two dark secrets in her past. Let alone one.

Still, he said nothing. "As far as I knew he had taken me hostage on the side, not telling anyone what he was up to. Then he didn't even tie me down before he set a gun on the table in front of me. Before I knew it, I was filling his chest with bullets."

The words flowed out of her as though she had been urging to say them all for years.

Karen leaned away from the counter, her world wobbly with vodka and a feeling of absolute vulnerability.

"I appreciated your silence up until about five seconds ago. Say something, dammit. I just laid my life out like an open book for you."

Frank looked at her, "I doubt you want me to say what I'm thinking."

Karen tried not to let anymore tears fall, but the vodka wasn't helping either. "You are ashamed you ever wanted me. That I'm not the embodiment of goodness you thought I could be. "

Frank pulled her into his arms with urgency. His chest rubbed against hers as he spoke, "You listen to me. Yeah, I've seen you for a while now." His gaze held hers with such intensity, she couldn't look away if she wanted to. "The real you. That's why I can't get enough of you. I've figured out I'm the only one who _can_ see you. That means something to me. You mean something to me."

There was a hitch in her breathing at Frank's words and suddenly Karen's mind was racing. She wasn't completely sure what he was trying to say but it sounded like he cared about her. For a while there she wasn't sure he cared about anything anymore and only carried enough humanity to remember why he had to carry out his punishment against humanity... She shouldn't let it get to her head if he felt something about her, though. After all, he was feeling compassion for a fellow murderer.

His hand was smoothing back her hair and she closed her eyes as her tears finally began to fall. "I'm sorry you've been carrying this with you all this time, Karen."

It was the best thing he could have said. She didn't want to hear his approval for her actions, she didn't want to hear what she should have done differently, she just wanted to stop carrying her lonely secret. He saw the real her and didn't want to leave. Just as she saw the real him and wasn't going anywhere.

Every feeling she experienced about him was so large and consuming that when she felt something new it seemed to leave her with an overwhelming emptiness. Tears were spilling over from her confessions and the memory of being so scared of Frank.

"I raised my gun to you," Karen covered her mouth with a hand. Frank tried shushing her. "I was so scared Fisk already got to you, I might have shot you. I might have killed you. I'm so sorry, Frank."

"Hey, I don't wanna hear that," Frank's voice was soft as he smoothed her hair from her face and held her close to him. "You know it wasn't the first time you raised you gun to me, I have a feeling it might not be the last time either. If Karen Page raises her hand cannon to someone, I know that there's gotta be a damn good reason. Don't you ever be sorry for that."

He held her for a long time like that until a calmness slowly drifted back over Karen.

When at last she was past any possibility of losing her composure again and sobbing uncontrollably, Karen pulled away. Frank had a hand on her cheek, caressing her with a sweet touch. She let her eyes drift close and leaned into his touch.

"I trust you too, Karen."

Her eyes fluttered open at Frank's words. He had his heart in his eyes. They were shining with feeling down at her and she wanted to keep this moment locked away forever.

"Come on. I know what you need," Frank said and took her by the hand. He led her into his bathroom and didn't let go as he flipped on the hot water. When he turned back to her and brought her back into his arms, it became clear to her that he was holding her for his benefit as much as hers.

As the steam began to crawl across the bathroom mirror, Frank's hands began to gently pull on her dress. With great care, as if she might be spooked by any sudden movements and dart off, he began undressing her. She held onto him and tried to kick off her boots, but he stopped her with a hand on her chest before kneeling down before her and pulling her boots off one at a time.

When he stood, Karen wanted to kiss him but he held an arm out for her to step into his shower and she thought maybe she should just get clean before wasting all the hot water. That would be rude.

As she let the water wash away the grime and worries of the night, she felt him get under the stream of water behind her and slide his arms around her waist. Karen sighed softly and leaned back against him as he held her. Without him there to keep her grounded, she would surely get lost in her thoughts. Her mind threatened to race over all the events of the day and other days past, but they were halted by Frank's gentle caresses along her belly.

So instead her thoughts were of kissing him. Soaking him in. Never letting go.

 _Hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?_

It was a long time before Frank let go. And then he was washing her. His hands smoothing across her body amidst the water and soap felt like the most intimate thing they could be doing. Karen turned in his arms to face him and return the favor. As her hands smoothed up his chest under the pretense of helping him wash up, she caught Frank smiling down at her and it made her stomach flip. Blushing, and not really sure why, Karen looked away with a smile of her own.

Karen ran her fingers through her own hair, growing a little distracted under the soothing warm water of the shower. A chill brushed against her as Frank opened the shower curtain and stepped out.

A few moments later, Karen walked out of the steamy bathroom with a towel wrapped around her as she used another to dry her hair. Frank was sitting on his bed, back to her as he fiddled with his radio, still only in a towel as well. As Karen took a few steps toward him, he settled on a station and the crooning voice of Janis Joplin filled the air.

 _"Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man?"_

She was now at an angle to appreciate most of Frank's physique and she enjoyed the sight of him. The sight of him with hardly any bruises was definitely a rare one and it allowed her to fully take him in. From the muscles rippling across his back and arms as he did something as trivial as turn the radio louder to the soft smile on his face as he nodded along to the song. It felt like this was going to be a night Karen would remember for the rest of her life, and not in the way other memories involving Frank haunted her. No, tonight was different because they were different.

 _"You know you got it, if it makes you feel good."_

As Karen watched Frank allow himself to enjoy a moment, she speculated she would possibly never find another person she could be this comfortable with while being completely honest with at the same time. It occurred to her that maybe this was the real thing she was supposed to hold onto.

"What are you thinking about Karen?"

Karen blinked, Frank's question pulling her out of her thoughts.

 _We love each other,_ she thought, but even at her most confident she choked on saying the words. Maybe they weren't ready to be that honest after all. When she didn't answer, Frank took a hold of her hand and pulled her closer to him.

Karen smiled softly and said, "You." With a teasing smile, she climbed into his lap and blushed at her own boldness and the reminder of the position they were in earlier that night. Frank's questioning look changed to a wide smile as he ran his hands up her back.

"I missed you."

Karen tilted her head, a little confused as to why he would be saying that. She gave him a teasing smile, "Then how could you leave me in the bathroom like that?"

Frank shook his head and gave her behind a playful pinch through the towel, making her yelp and squirm in his arms. The motion caused her towel to slip and when she tried to clutch it back against her, Frank took advantage of her being distracted and rolled her onto the bed so that she was beneath him. Karen giggled at the way he was teasing her.

"Stop being cute, dammit. I'm trying to be serious." Frank scolded her, though his smirk wasn't helping his cause. She was pretty sure he was trying to pick on her just to watch her squirm under him. Well, then she would have to pick on him. Naturally.

"Cute?" Karen asked, "Do you really think so?" She raised her eyebrows at him, playfully pulling at her towel as if she was giving him a show. As if they hadn't just showered with each other.

He leaned back, a devilish look on his face as his eyes took in Karen on his bed. "Yes," Frank said with a nod, and then snatched both their towels away with the exaggerated flourish of a stage performer, emitting a yelp from Karen before she gave way to laughing at his antics.

She sat up, wanting to give him a playful shove but as she neared him, the increasing proximity of him sobered her up. Her eyes raked over his playful smile and up to his eyes taking her in as well. Her knees were on either side of him and she was very aware of how naked and tangled they already were. Tilting her head slightly, she caught his smirking mouth in a kiss.

Frank's hands came up to cup her face and he gently pulled her back. It was hard to mask her disappointment at being stopped and she couldn't help the small pout she gave him.

"I missed you, Karen," he said again.

"I didn't go anywhere." Karen said softly, a little confused as to why he would say that again.

"No, you didn't. I left. To Mexico to look for the bastards who had a hand in the murder of my family. I figured I'd forget about you eventually. But as much as I was haunted by the memories of my wife and my son and my little girl... I saw you and the way I had left you." Karen nodded, trying not to get bitter at the memory of him closing the door in her face. She had tried, vainly, to appeal to his better nature. She had even, foolishly, used herself as his bait not to delve deeper into The Punisher. It was before she realized how futile that was.

"So I guess when I saw a chance to get back into your life again, I took it. Told myself it was just to protect you, but that gets hard to justify the more danger you seem to get into. I tried to convince myself that if I had to have you, having something physical with you could be good enough. It was more than what I deserved. But there's always been something more between us, something that won't let us just be physical. Something I can admit I want." His hands on her neck were caressing her gently as he spoke and the look in his eyes almost seemed shy as he continued.

"You make me want to be me again and I know that I should feel selfish... Like I - How could I deserve to..." Frank's eyes looked around as if for help as he struggled with rising emotions and tried to get out what he needed to say. "How could I let myself have so much happiness with you if you have to keep paying for it? But then, I guess I aint never been so afraid of losing something that I didn't want to have it in the first place."

"Is that what you feel with me? Happiness?" It touched her. It was all she had ever wanted Frank to feel again and to know it was what he felt with her was threatening to make her heart soar and send her right back out of reality.

"When you're not pissing me off, yeah. When you're not... driving me crazy. Hell, especially when you do all that."

Karen laughed softly. She wasn't sure what to say in response to all that as she couldn't find the words to tell him how much she appreciated him opening up to her. Especially after she had laid everything out for him. They sat their holding each other, truly naked before one another.

Karen raised a hand and ran her fingers over his sharp cheekbones, her eyes taking in the shape of his lips and crooked nose. She wanted to take everything that made him so fragile and hide it away from everyone else, but she didn't know how to say what she felt.

To save her from having to respond, Frank captured her lips in a kiss again. It was sweet and soft and everything she was feeling was unlike anything she had ever felt with Frank before. His hands and kisses didn't just make pleasure rush through her, they kept her from floating off into the clouds.

Frank's hands traveled to her hair as he kissed her and he guided her back into the pillows. Karen raised her knees, rubbing her thighs against his waist in anticipation. His tongue darted out against her lips and she opened to him, feeling his hunger intensify in the way his hands traveled and his kisses stopped being so sweet.

Karen smoothed her hands over his chest, the scars under her fingertips now a familiar feeling. When she raised her hips against his and felt his erection against her it made him groan into her mouth.

Frank's lips moved to her neck and there he elicited soft moans from Karen. He nipped at her earlobe and just when she was deciding he was truly going to drive her crazy, his breath tickled her ear and she gasped.

"I want you, Karen." Frank growled into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "I want to make you feel good." Then his lips were traveling down her neck and further down still. Everywhere his lips traveled sent her skin buzzing. A hum of approval escaped Karen when Frank's lips traveled down past her belly.

His hands guided her thighs open for him and she reached down to him, not wanting him to be so far away. Then his lips were on her thighs and she was done with thinking. The only thing she wanted to fill her senses was Frank and when his tongue stroked her clit, he was all she knew.

Karen's thighs trembled and squirmed with his movements until her gripped her hips with one firm hand, keeping her still. Her hands gripped the bed sheets as her eyes fluttered close to the feeling of him. Frank's grip moved from her hips to her ass, cupping a cheek in one large hand and pulling her closer to him.

When she thought it was all becoming too much to take, Frank took it further and slid a finger into her, reaching the perfect angle to elicit pleased moans from Karen.

"You're so fucking wet," Frank's voice was low and though his words made her tremble she didn't want him to stop making her feel this way so she raised her hips back to him. She thought she could feel him smirking against her thigh. Then he slipped in another finger. Karen turned her head, groaning into Frank's pillows as his large fingers filled her. There was no helping her hips as they bucked down against his face and hands, helping him reach that sweet spot within her that could make her come undone.

Karen's eyes dared to flutter open and she took in the sight of him pleasuring her. The way his head moved and his eyes were closed as if he was enjoying this as much as her.

It was enough to send her over the edge and she knew for a fact Frank wasn't enjoying it this much. Karen's back arched and she cried out as his fingers and tongue coaxed her further into an orgasm. Stars burst behind her eyes and she found herself in blissful disbelief over the way he made her feel.

He had pulled away and was now crawling back over her body as pleasure still hummed through her limbs. Karen reached to him and tried to pull him to her faster. There was a devilish look in his eyes as he pulled her hips to his. Through heavy lidded eyes, Karen looked up at him as she raised her knees around his waist.

Then he entered her and she loved the way he gasped when he did. Karen's hands were on his chest as he guided her into his rhythm. The look in his eyes as he watched her move beneath him was indeed a heady thing.

As his movements quickened, Frank braced himself with a hand on the wall and he leaned down to kiss the skin on her neck. Karen's already sensitive body couldn't take it and her hips moved faster against him. She wanted to tell him she wanted him too. All she could do was cry out his name as another orgasm shook through her.

"Oh, Frank." Her fingers dug into the skin on his back as she trembled around him. Her climax shook through her and she let her head fall back in pleasure. The disbelief she saw on his face told her he was surprised as well. Karen cried out as Frank's hips moved faster, his thrusts only adding to the ecstasy rippling through her.

She felt his hands trembling in their grip on her waist and knew he was close too. She pulled at him, wanting his kisses again. She wanted him to feel everything she felt. She knew he felt everything she felt.

Frank put a hand in her hair and he turned her face so she would look at him. Karen whimpered as he kept her teetering back and forth on the edge.

"Karen," he groaned out as he came and Karen held onto him, running her hands gently across his chest and stomach as he trembled from the sensations going through him. She smiled a little to herself at the look on his face and the way he muttered her name through his own soft groans of pleasure.

Frank collapsed on the bed beside her as they both caught their breaths and enjoyed the afterglow, one arm still lazily draped across her belly. Karen sighed with contentment.

After a moment, Frank stood up and slipped into a pair of boxer briefs he pulled from his dresser. As she watched him rinse out his glass from earlier and then enjoy a cold drink of water, she still felt a warm sensation running through her.

So, in her current state she couldn't help but wonder what the future could possibly hold for two people like them? Did she really think that Frank wanted her to clear his name so that they could go on playing house?

The possibility that he wouldn't make it home was always there. Hell, given recent events it seemed Karen risked that same fate. It was more than likely inevitable that one day she wouldn't have the enigma that was Frank Castle to question and Karen suddenly felt a deep sadness in her chest.

Karen looked away from him. She was starting to hear his point of view on things in her head. She was starting to think like him. It made her recall his words from earlier.

 _I aint never been so afraid of losing something that I didn't want it in the first place._

Those words made her smile.

Karen got out of the bed to go to the bathroom, sparing a glance at Frank as he wiped his mouth clean with the back of his hand.

When she came back, Frank had collapsed onto the bed. Possibly already sleeping with the lamp and radio still on and on, too. Karen stood there for a moment and watched him.

Her thoughts started roaming on events outside of the apartment. The reality that still awaited them. She thought about the possibility of Fisk knowing what anguish it would cause for Matt and Frank if he were to succeed in making either one kill her. They would be a problem that would sort itself out.

 _He said you make friends_ and _enemies and both are easy to get to._

These thoughts troubled her and her eyes darted to the radio. As she walked over to turn it off, she heard Frank moving in the bed behind her. When she looked, she saw that he had rolled onto his back and was looking at her. His look made her feel very aware she didn't have anything clean to wear.

"Got a shirt I can borrow?" Karen asked, resisting the urge to rub her arms self consciously so instead they danced a little awkwardly at her sides.

Frank shrugged, which was a weird response, and sat up to turn back to his dresser. She saw over his shoulder that there wasn't a whole lot to choose from and she considered the fact that he probably went through a lot of shirts. A closer look and she saw a lot of them were blood stained. She saw him pick a dark one and tried not to think about it as he tossed it to her.

Once she slipped it on, she walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water as well. The water was cool as she drank deeply from it and some spilled past the corners of her mouth to dribble down her chin.

Karen was wiping her face when she turned around and saw him watching her. He had one arm propped behind his head so he could look at her.

"Shirt isn't really long enough, huh?" Frank said, his eyes dark again. Karen felt her face get red and she couldn't help pulling on the bottom of her shirt. "Watching your ass pop out as you walked over there was one of the best things I've seen in a while."

Karen stood at the end of the bed and watched as his hand began to slowly rub his chest. She let her eyes travel down and was surprised to see he was hard again.

"You want it again?" She asked, her mouth impossibly dry once more as she spoke.

Frank nodded, "Yeah, come here."

It was all she could do not to leap into the bed.

 **A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews! Now, with the release of The Defenders and The Punisher first seasons, my story has become a little AU but oh well! I shall still continue it because I love it. Even if it takes me absolutely forever to post something.


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